About the commitment

I made a commitment 12 weeks ago to co-lead a Thin Within class online at the Thin Within site.  I got about five weeks into it and started wrestling with the Lord and did not give my whole heart in it.  So I hung on by a string and kept doing the study but also eating my own way most of the time.  Then when Reshaping it All came along, last week I found it, and I felt like this is what I was going to do.  I realize this happens, I find another book or "way" to lose weight or be healthy instead of doing what the Lord has asked me to do.  I look at it as gripping for a "law" or "rule" to the way I should eat, the right way.  I skirt around, if you will, the way He chose for me.  He has clearly showed me for my body that I need to pay attention to my hunger and eat when I am physically hungry and to stop eating when I am satisfied/full and eat no more.  Also that He is the one that truly satisfies and not the food.  I am also assured by Him that He will show me foods that will strengthen my body and are beneficial for me as I trust Him and go by also the knowledge that I have.  He really helps me in this moment by moment when I rely on Him, but lately I have done anything but that in the area of eating. 

So I am feeling the Lord saying finish the 12th week of Thin Within study that you are in now and then rely on me to see what is next.  I feel I have all the knowledge, but He is asking me to take some actions now.  So that is what I am going to do.  I am undoing what I jumped into last week.  I am still reading Reshaping it All, but I am going to take a break from the 65 day study/blog and finish what I am on and what I started.  Giving it my whole heart.  I am going to seek Him then in what I am going to do next, which may be just rely on Him, I have to be open to what He leads me to and not just grab what "I" want. 

I am reminded of something I heard about the Galatians the other day and how they were walking by the Spirit and then started going back to the law...it seems thats what I keep attempting to do.  I must be still.  Be still and know that He is God.

Lord please help me in this, bring me back to you in this area and all areas, and give me the desire and strength to be still and listen to You and obey.  In Jesus Name, Amen

31 Days To Clean journey!

So this week I made it through the week of 31 days to clean devotionals.  I can feel a difference in how my home feels, atmosphere and also physically.  I also feel better myself because I know that I worked towards that and accomplished it, victory, thank you Jesus!!!

I did find myself a bit perfectionist in the kitchen doing the top of the cabinets, but its over and done and towards the end of it I started realizing it and said hey this does not have to be perfect so I will do what I can in an alotted time and that will be just great :)

Its amazing how cleaning the home is so much more than just cleaning.  It plays into so many areas of my life.  My marriage, my parenting, my relationsihp with my family, how they feel, how I feel, then it shows my attitude of my heart when cleaning is not done, I know that there is something in my heart thats off, maybe laziness, maybe procrastination, maybe some healing that needs done in my heart and I am just sulking and don't realize it, but thats a great way I see now for me to have a little "check in" with my heart is to look at my home.  (very long run on sentence, I know, forgive me;))

Titus 2:4-5 ⁴That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, ⁵To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.

Now I realize why keeper at home is such an important role in my life...God help me to honor you in my home and to make our home a haven.  In Jesus Name, Amen

I am very excited to read today about priorities, as I have not read todays reading.  This is something that I have been working on the past year or two and to be refreshed in it is going to be refreshing!

So more later, I just wanted to post in how I was feeling in this journey in this area...

Commit

Hello to y'all!! Thank you for sharing your comments with me, I'm so thankul to have you all along this journey with the Lord! Here I am tonight after a long day with my husband and 3 children wanting to share my heart about something the Lord put on my heart tonight. Amazingly enough, well He is amazing, He used a TV commercial to speak to me!!

You see, the past year or so I have struggled, mostly with my eating after having it surrendered to the Lord for a short while and being free, and it was mostly a spiritual battle...at least from what I've learned so far. I have felt sort of unsettled and left trying to figure this whole issue out and even though I seek the Lord daily and I am obedient and surrendered in so many areas of my life, this is one of the areas I have been wrestling with the Lord in.

Tonight the commercial was on FOX while watching American Idol, really one of the only TV shows I watch, and it was about that restaurant show with the Ramsey guy (forgive me I don't know his name or the shows name at the moment), but the restaurant owner has a business that is failing and this man comes in and tries to help him save their restaurants. The clip I saw that spoke to me was a direct conversation between the business owner and the Ramsey guy. He asked him a question and the man answers loudly, "I'm a failure!!!!!!!!" Then the reply was "then commit!!!!!!"

Ok so I've been stuck feeling like I have failed too many times. I am starting out on a new 65 day journey of Reshaping it All and feel already why try, I've failed too much and I'm done, I have gone too far backwards...but God. That's my only hope.

So He has told me through this...Kim you need to commit and you need to do this with all of your heart.

So that's my challenge tonight as I lay my head down to sleep. Prepare to commit. For the long term, for life. In the area of eating. Not dieting.  Surrendering my eating to the Lord and eating as He has shown me is best for me.  My flesh screams out...NO!!!

So I will write more about this and some of the lies I have been believing in my next post.  Lord I am ready to prepare for this challenge to commit. Please help me rest in You and cease striving, all striving, so that you alone can be strong in my weakness. I read today, Psalm 37:5 "commit everything you do to the Lord, trust Him and He will help you." I am trusting you and will wait now as you help me prepare. In Jesus Name, Amen!

Do you share this struggle in any way? What has the Lord been teaching you in the area of eating and the heart issue involved with it?

Scattered

This is a word on my heart lately.  It seems the moment I start to take my eyes off of Jesus and onto the schedules and routines and things of this world chaos sets in and I start getting involved in many things and feel scattered, spread thin. 


Scattered: –adjective, distributed or occurring at widely spaced, dispersed; disorganized: scattered forces; distracted or disorganized: scattered thoughts.


One of the synonyms:  take off in all directions


Then I think of the scripture about the narrow road, one way, one focus, Jesus.  No wonder my peace seems not complete, my intimacy with the Lord isn't where I know it should be, then I remember what He tells me very often...S-L-O-W-D-O-W-N.  Literally minute by minute I have to slow down.  If I don't I am headed in a lot of directions, reading 4  or more books here and there, looking at several studies I can join, reading online about things, be a better Godly wife, mother, homekeeper, handle finances better, etc, but really what I need is to focus solely on Jesus and then these things will be added unto me.


Psalm 46:10a Be still and know that I am God.


^{Matthew 6:33} Seek the Kingdom of God^[a] above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need.


Lord scattered that I am I see there are things I need to let go of, mostly focuses, in my mind, where you are not all I am thinking of.  Help me to eliminate and concentrate as I learned from an Anne Ortlund book, and to just be refreshed in You.  In Jesus Name, Amen

End of one journey and start of a new

I am coming to the last week of my Thin Within study. While I will continue learning in the Thin Within materials because there is so much more I can learn and grow from there, I am starting a new little journey in the area of eating and my relationship with God for 65 days through Reshaping it All by Candace Cameron Bure. I an going to try and post here what I'm learning and anything else I feel led to share.


Another little journey I start for the month of May is 31 Days to Clean by Sara Mae. It is a devotional and gets to the heart regarding cleaning our homes and that is definitely an area that I am not natural at, so I am excited to learn a lot in this area.  


Of course, without the Lord as my strength guiding me I can't do any of this.  I really hope I am not diving in trying too much, and that my intentions are pure here.  These are two areas I feel I am lacking in my life right now and I am wanting to learn more in them and grow!  In the process, grow closer to the Lord and becoming who He wants me to be.

(picture taken from http://www.squidoo.com/isnpirationalsongs)

Proverbs 3:5-6 (Amp) ⁵Lean on, trust in, and be confident in the Lord with all your heart and mind and do not rely on your own insight or understanding.  ⁶In all your ways know, recognize, and acknowledge Him, and He will direct and make straight and plain your paths.

So Lord I am comitting my ways to You here, even though I feel like a robot lately and can't seem to be still, please show me what I need to hear and learn through this.  I need refreshing in my relationship with You and with my life in all areas.  Direct my paths Lord.  In Jesus Name, Amen

Refreshed

I am chugging along and just walking step by step trying to lean on the Lord and see what He is teaching me.  I was so refreshed this evening reading a new blog I found...Like a Warm Cup of Coffee has inspired me and just helped me to refocus.  I feel relaxed in the Lord tonight and am so thankful.

Hope you all are having a great night.  I will try and post more later as I can.  Pondering what all I am to share here and how the Lord would use my words.

Lately

I have not been able to think of what to write on here lately.  I am hoping to find a heart thing to share soon as the Lord leads (and as I continued writing this post the Lord just laid the below on my heart, so nevermind this comment!).  In the meantime I have been posting almost daily some food struggles on the Thin Within forums.

One thing the Lord has been teaching me lately, oh so much, is to keep my eyes and thoughts fixed on Him.  There really isn't more to it than that, once I do that then everything else falls into place, right?!  I analyze and question so much, that I even question what if's about doing that!  Jesus is everything.  I need that to be the simple reality of what I remember moment by moment every day.

When chaos surrounds me...my three children need me, have needs to be met and hearts to be tended to, a husband who needs a supporter and encourager and a house that most definitely needs my attention, to have my focus on all of those things without my first thoughts and focus being on Jesus, well then I have just put that pile of burdens right on my shoulders.

Matthew 6:33 (NLT) says this, "Seek the Kingdom of God[a] above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need."

That seems to sum it up for me.  The more I try to think past this and try and work on other things, I am going around and away from where God wants me and its going to burden me and make me miserable.  First things first, and that should be daily moment by moment, never to be stopped.  I get that feeling sometimes like I need to just "figure this out" or "figure that out" and then I can move on and "I got it!"

Well I am not supposed to figure anything out in this life and just do it on my own.  That may be my natural thinking, but the Lord says otherwise.

Hebrews 12:1-2 says this:
" ¹ Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a huge crowd of witnesses to the life of faith, let us strip off every weight that slows us down, especially the sin that so easily trips us up. And let us run with endurance the race God has set before us. ² We do this by keeping our eyes on Jesus, the champion who initiates and perfects our faith. Because of the joy awaiting him, he endured the cross, disregarding its shame. Now he is seated in the place of honor beside God’s throne." (NLT)

So to keep moving on through my day, I need my eyes fixed on Jesus.  Period.

(*Picture taken from google images search:))

Lord it seems so hard to be still, sit at your feet all day, let my thoughts and words and actions and my schedule be led by You alone...please help me to do this and become more habitual daily in doing this.  Help everyone reading this as well to just hear your still small voice calling them closer to You.  I pray in Jesus Name, Amen

Do you relate to anything I shared?  When do you have trouble keeping your eyes on Jesus?