Bringing God Back into My All

I have spent a few years resisting God in several areas of my life, or sitting on the fence and not completely listening to Him and his loving guidance.  Not completely turned away, but resisting and not "all in."  I am realizing the past few days how much I have just rushed ahead of God in eating and also in budgeting and just listening to Him in general through daily walking out life.  I long to be authentic, but start to panic when He calls me to do something, so I tend to do it a little and numb myself out with other things so I am not fully doing what He says.  I am learning, as this years 1 Word is TRUST, to trust Him.  Also to realize that when I ask God to guide, that I am not the one in control, He is.  To also realize that His plans for me are not always going to look like I expect and also realize that His plans are actually going to be better than mine.  Always.  Such a relief.

So in the area of eating, I am realizing how He definitely has led me to take care of my body physically by eating between hunger and satisfaction and enjoying my life fully.  I also can say all of the progress I have had in this area as I shared in my last weeks post on intuitive eating principles and where I am, are because I have prayed over them and journaled and read and learned and it was a process, but it was Him helping me for sure.  I cannot deny that.  But when I started working towards intuitive eating again fully recently He helped me to realize I was leaving Him out.

You see, I could eat intuitively or think about it, but something was missing and I was still not feeling happy.  I was learning the tools, but my soul felt hungry still.  For Him, is what I realize it was.  I remember back when I was successful at eating for physical hunger I had a very close partner in this area of life and she helped me closely and prayed with me, and it was so good.  When I lost that after a few months it was challenging and I haven't got that help back just that way again---until now.  He has led me to a friend and someone who I have worked alongside with in Thin Within materials and classes for a while several years ago.  She now offers coaching, praise praise praise!

I am so excited to start a new journey with my health coach, Heidi Byslma, and look forward to what God is going to do in my life through her and with her accountability.  Please pray for me if you read this and know Him, because it is not going to be easy.  To un-numb myself from the things I had numbed myself to (normal life circumstances and challenges we all have) is going to take some vulnerability and courage, but He is able and He is going to help me as I am relying on Him as my main source.

So here is to restarting.  God is doing a new thing now! (In my eating, my money management-a whole new post-and my heart.)

Isaiah 43:19
See, I am doing a new thing!
Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?
I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland.