Miss My Blogger

So hey there it's been a while since I've written.  I have missed it here lots.  I had read and heard so many things when reading about blogging about using Wordpress to make things better.  That if you want to have a great blog that's the place to be.   So I went that route and started a wordpress blog and I'm just finding myself stuck.  I am finding myself thinking I have to figure out how it works before I can share my heart and write like crazy.  Crazy right?

So here I am.  My home blog where my blogging journey started and I love blogger.  If you want to see where I started my other blog you can check it out by clicking here. 

So what have I been up to?  I have been up to lots of stuff.  One thing is that I am working out my one word for 2014 and that is Unwind.  I am wanting to unwind as God has shown me and let go of control and unwind and relax and not be so uptight.  But relax in Him and learn how to walk by the Holy Spirit who lives in me even better.

As far as eating goes.  I have maintained my size and weight, but am at my highest weight ever while not being pregnant (which is crazy!).  I have started a Bible study through Thin Within workbook 2 and am going to go through that with some friends online.  I am also reading here and there my favorite, Truly Fed, book. 

I celebrated 2 years gluten free in March.  I can't believe it's been that long.  I have learned so much and have more I can share about that in days to come.  It has been an interesting journey.

Have a wonderful rest of your weekend!!

More later...

My One Word 2014.



My Favorite Gluten Free Cupcake

I got this for my last birthday from Oh Snap! Cupcakes and it is sooo good!  Wanted to share a picture. It is gluten free, cream cheese icing with chocolate chips.  Delish!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Stopping When Full

Here we are about to go into a new year, 2014.  There will be a Thin Within online Bible study starting in January that I am a part of and I am excited and nervous.  You see, God has called me to listen to Him in how I care for my body, and only for my good, but I am such a stubborn resister.  I do not like this about me, but it's true.  So I keep telling God help me, I am willing, but I don't want to and need you to help me. 

I seem to be fine with staying occupied most of the time and not over focusing on food and waiting for hunger, as He is setting me free in this area.  But...when it comes time and I feel that nudge when I start to eat and it says--that's it, you are satisfied, your body does not need any more food.....that is when I dig in my feet and drown out the still small voice. 

Stop when you are satisfied.
I used to say, I would rather throw away food in the trash than throw it away in my body.
It has been recently I am seeing again how I use food to ground me and keep my from feeling chaos.
Chaos of life.
I need to stop when satisfied. 
I need to slow down.
I need Jesus' help.
I need to make the choice that I am willing.
Sit back and rest in Him.

More later...

Walking it Out-November 2013

I am walking it out, this Thin Within journey.  This intuitive eating journey.  It is so much easier said than done, that is for sure.  As many times as I walk away thinking I will forget it or just ignore it because it is too hard, I always end up back here.  One thing is for sure though, I definitely do not go back to the dieting phase.  I think that bridge is burned.  Wow, can you say freedom?  The thing is though, when I am not allowing myself to listen to my body for its hunger cues, I am not doing anything.  I don't go back to dieting mentality as much, I just eat what I want when I want, with no boundaries or any regards to what my body is saying.  I kind of just listen to my mind, my flesh, and this is dangerous to my Spiritual life as well as my physical life (health). 

I am getting back up though.  I took a few years of what I thought was totally ignoring it, but really it wasn't ignoring it.  I am seeing how I was doing groundwork.  I have been laying some foundation that will be forever firm.  It may not have gone the way that I wanted it to, but it surely is working.  God does not work in the ways that our human minds do.  I can have one thing in mind of how my eating and weight and body image is going to work out, and it ends up being worked out so differently. 

For instance, I can think, I will just eat when I am hungry and stop when I am full, then I will be forever free.  But God says, no really you have some heart work to deal with and you may actually gain some weight before losing it, but it will be permanent loss this time.  You need to deal with your stinky attitude, you need to deal with some patience issues that are tripping you up, and you definitely need to work out this controlling issue that you have going on because if I am not God in your life Kim, you are, and that is just not my best for you.

So there you have it in my walking it out journey.  I continue on it.  I have maintained my weight for several months and do not obsess about my weight.  But when I do get on the scale it can tend to mess with my emotions for a few days and it shows in my eating.  I feel that I am about to turn into a new direction where weight release is going to start happening again.  I have recently started studying the next workbook from Thin Within that I have not gone through yet, it is found here in all these awesome tools that my eyes are being opened to again after a couple of years of not being involved with Thin Within (only because I was turning it into a diet).  But God has done a work in me and continues and I am thankful for that on this Thanksgiving week.

More later...be blessed!

Do You Know the Feeling?

That of feeling the need to explain everything to everyone?  DO you know what that feels like?  It's like sometimes if I don't explain everything to everyone then I need to keep trying.  I can't keep living and enjoying my life if all people around me do not understand everything I am thinking and doing and understand why I am doing it.  Craziness.

People pleasing?  Yes.  I struggle with that.  Sometimes I find myself so stuck because of this.  I will keep asking myself, "what in the world is wrong with me?"  It is because I will say I can't move on until I figure this out or that out.

I can't believe it is taking this long for me to learn this.  But it is and that is okay.  I will continue pressing on and remembering that I only need to live for an audience of one, and the only person that I need to focus on pleasing is Jesus.  Then everything else will fall into place.

More later.....

Working at Home and My Passion

I am feeling so drawn to writing and blogging but have all of these questions.  I pray I get the right answers or understand them as God wants me to.

I want my families support and feel I won't know how to explain these feelings to them.

I am so craving pouring into my family.  Not working full time outside the home.  Is that bad to share?  It is my honest thoughts though I know right now the last year and a half I am in a full time outside the home working position.  It is where God has me in the moment, but I can't help but feel that I know I can and should be working out of my home. Maybe it's not writing, but it is something I believe.

I am craving being home with my family.  Getting them up and enjoying mornings with them before school.  Spending a day in cozy clothes, with my computer, and my keyboard and typing away.  Sharing my heart.  Going where God leads me in the writing and working at home scene. 

Pray for me if you read this, that God will be all over it and guide the way.  And that I will take the steps as He leads and have the courage to, because honestly I feel like perhaps I have missed steps He told me to take because I was afraid and not trusting or having enough faith.  Lord please help me see clearly your will and have the courage to step out when you say and I pray I will have the confirmation with my support of my family at home behind me.  I also pray Lord that I will not be lazy, and I will continue to get better and better at working for you in all I do every day, no matter where I am.  Help me to see when I become idle for the wrong reasons and to get refocused on what you want me focused on.  I pray that you will keep changing my heart.  You are the redeemer and I am so thankful.  I can't change myself, I have tried and keep trying.  Help me fall into you and let you lead it all.  That is the cry of my heart.  Thank you for listening.  In Jesus Name, Amen

I need Jesus.  I need clarity.  I am asking for it. 

James 4:2-3 says, "You desire but you do not have, so you kill.  You covet but you cannot get what you want, so you quarrel and fight.  You do not have because you do not ask God.  When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures."

Let my prayer be asking you God.  Let it not be my own pleasure, but yours.  Let my will be yours.  Let my desires line up with yours.  That is my prayer.  In Jesus Name, Amen

More later...