Stopping When Full

Here we are about to go into a new year, 2014.  There will be a Thin Within online Bible study starting in January that I am a part of and I am excited and nervous.  You see, God has called me to listen to Him in how I care for my body, and only for my good, but I am such a stubborn resister.  I do not like this about me, but it's true.  So I keep telling God help me, I am willing, but I don't want to and need you to help me. 

I seem to be fine with staying occupied most of the time and not over focusing on food and waiting for hunger, as He is setting me free in this area.  But...when it comes time and I feel that nudge when I start to eat and it says--that's it, you are satisfied, your body does not need any more food.....that is when I dig in my feet and drown out the still small voice. 

Stop when you are satisfied.
I used to say, I would rather throw away food in the trash than throw it away in my body.
It has been recently I am seeing again how I use food to ground me and keep my from feeling chaos.
Chaos of life.
I need to stop when satisfied. 
I need to slow down.
I need Jesus' help.
I need to make the choice that I am willing.
Sit back and rest in Him.

More later...

Walking it Out-November 2013

I am walking it out, this Thin Within journey.  This intuitive eating journey.  It is so much easier said than done, that is for sure.  As many times as I walk away thinking I will forget it or just ignore it because it is too hard, I always end up back here.  One thing is for sure though, I definitely do not go back to the dieting phase.  I think that bridge is burned.  Wow, can you say freedom?  The thing is though, when I am not allowing myself to listen to my body for its hunger cues, I am not doing anything.  I don't go back to dieting mentality as much, I just eat what I want when I want, with no boundaries or any regards to what my body is saying.  I kind of just listen to my mind, my flesh, and this is dangerous to my Spiritual life as well as my physical life (health). 

I am getting back up though.  I took a few years of what I thought was totally ignoring it, but really it wasn't ignoring it.  I am seeing how I was doing groundwork.  I have been laying some foundation that will be forever firm.  It may not have gone the way that I wanted it to, but it surely is working.  God does not work in the ways that our human minds do.  I can have one thing in mind of how my eating and weight and body image is going to work out, and it ends up being worked out so differently. 

For instance, I can think, I will just eat when I am hungry and stop when I am full, then I will be forever free.  But God says, no really you have some heart work to deal with and you may actually gain some weight before losing it, but it will be permanent loss this time.  You need to deal with your stinky attitude, you need to deal with some patience issues that are tripping you up, and you definitely need to work out this controlling issue that you have going on because if I am not God in your life Kim, you are, and that is just not my best for you.

So there you have it in my walking it out journey.  I continue on it.  I have maintained my weight for several months and do not obsess about my weight.  But when I do get on the scale it can tend to mess with my emotions for a few days and it shows in my eating.  I feel that I am about to turn into a new direction where weight release is going to start happening again.  I have recently started studying the next workbook from Thin Within that I have not gone through yet, it is found here in all these awesome tools that my eyes are being opened to again after a couple of years of not being involved with Thin Within (only because I was turning it into a diet).  But God has done a work in me and continues and I am thankful for that on this Thanksgiving week.

More later...be blessed!

Do You Know the Feeling?

That of feeling the need to explain everything to everyone?  DO you know what that feels like?  It's like sometimes if I don't explain everything to everyone then I need to keep trying.  I can't keep living and enjoying my life if all people around me do not understand everything I am thinking and doing and understand why I am doing it.  Craziness.

People pleasing?  Yes.  I struggle with that.  Sometimes I find myself so stuck because of this.  I will keep asking myself, "what in the world is wrong with me?"  It is because I will say I can't move on until I figure this out or that out.

I can't believe it is taking this long for me to learn this.  But it is and that is okay.  I will continue pressing on and remembering that I only need to live for an audience of one, and the only person that I need to focus on pleasing is Jesus.  Then everything else will fall into place.

More later.....

Working at Home and My Passion

I am feeling so drawn to writing and blogging but have all of these questions.  I pray I get the right answers or understand them as God wants me to.

I want my families support and feel I won't know how to explain these feelings to them.

I am so craving pouring into my family.  Not working full time outside the home.  Is that bad to share?  It is my honest thoughts though I know right now the last year and a half I am in a full time outside the home working position.  It is where God has me in the moment, but I can't help but feel that I know I can and should be working out of my home. Maybe it's not writing, but it is something I believe.

I am craving being home with my family.  Getting them up and enjoying mornings with them before school.  Spending a day in cozy clothes, with my computer, and my keyboard and typing away.  Sharing my heart.  Going where God leads me in the writing and working at home scene. 

Pray for me if you read this, that God will be all over it and guide the way.  And that I will take the steps as He leads and have the courage to, because honestly I feel like perhaps I have missed steps He told me to take because I was afraid and not trusting or having enough faith.  Lord please help me see clearly your will and have the courage to step out when you say and I pray I will have the confirmation with my support of my family at home behind me.  I also pray Lord that I will not be lazy, and I will continue to get better and better at working for you in all I do every day, no matter where I am.  Help me to see when I become idle for the wrong reasons and to get refocused on what you want me focused on.  I pray that you will keep changing my heart.  You are the redeemer and I am so thankful.  I can't change myself, I have tried and keep trying.  Help me fall into you and let you lead it all.  That is the cry of my heart.  Thank you for listening.  In Jesus Name, Amen

I need Jesus.  I need clarity.  I am asking for it. 

James 4:2-3 says, "You desire but you do not have, so you kill.  You covet but you cannot get what you want, so you quarrel and fight.  You do not have because you do not ask God.  When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures."

Let my prayer be asking you God.  Let it not be my own pleasure, but yours.  Let my will be yours.  Let my desires line up with yours.  That is my prayer.  In Jesus Name, Amen

More later...
 

Menu Plan Monday-Limited Cooking!

 

 

Good day to you!! Joining Organizing Junkie in some delish Menu Plan Monday fun!

 

I love cooking.  But working full time the last year and a half I have gotten so weary in it.  That makes me sad.  I decided I was going to try and cook 3-4 meals on Sunday afternoon/evening so that the family could have meals to heat up throughout the week and two things would happen.

 

1-They don't have to wait for me to get home at 6pm to eat.  They can just heat up dinner when they get hungry.

 

and...

 

2-I don't have to make dinner when I get home at 6pm.  I can heat up something if I am hungry.  And if I am not, I can just relax and enjoy family time and our fun evenings.

 

So this is what I did for this week...

 

• Apple Bourbon pork tenderloin-Hormel brand (I get these at Wal-Mart-they are gluten free and already seasoned)
• Sweet Italian sausage sauteed with onions-then eat over rice.  We have a rice cooker that always has Jasmine rice in it.
• Taco meat.  Cook this up and then they can heat the meat up and get out shredded cheese and lettuce and use the soft shell burrito shells I get to make their own soft tacos.
• Frozen pizza-this is an easy fix and some of the kids like this for dinner.  If not, they can have cereal or they can make a sandwich or a bowl of rice and soy sauce.
• Breakfast for dinner.  Usually can fix up some eggs, waffles, cereal and fruit and this is a quick dinner.  Though for this I do have to fix up something.
• Then there is the fend for yourselves night where we just eat what we want when we want it and nobody really cooks a meal.
  

Budgeting

What I've learned about budgeting.

• Zero-based budget
• Do what works best for you-not how you see others doing it
• Financial coach
• No such thing as perfect budget-new budget end of month every month for the following month, spend next months money before the month begins
• Budget meeting with spouse once a week or once a month-if possible, if not, press on and do your best.
• Goals. Have them.  Big or small.  Dream.
• Never stop learning.
• Be a student of budgeting.  Forever. 

What are some tips that you have learned?  I am SUCH a learner and love learning more and more so I can't get enough tips :)

More later...

To Blog or Not to Blog?

That is the question.  Does anyone know what it is like to go back and forth with whether or not you are supposed to have a blog or not?  I want to blog.  I love it.  I enjoy writing.  I feel perhaps maybe it is because some of my priorities may be out of line?  I'm not sure.  I also think I may believe some lies about writing and blogging in regards to me my heart and my life.

So that is why I haven't written in a while and I even made my blog personal so it wasn't open to the public.  So as I stumble forwards in this writing blogging journey, I still pray God's will and pray I can be authentic and know what He wants me to do. :)

More later...

Walking it Out

So I haven't written in a month or more.  Wow.  On the intuitive eating.  See I got a health coach.  Someone to help me in renewing my mind and walking out this intuitive eating.  See I am still struggling.  I don't like it.  At all.  I want to come on here and say I GOT IT!  I figured it all out.  It isn't happening though and I am frustrated. 

I may have a new sweet accountability partner.  I want to turn away though and think I can do this on my own.  But I am starting to see a pattern.  Every time God puts someone in my life or path to help me in this area of my life, I turn my back eventually.  Resisting strongly.

This hurts.  It is hard to admit really.  Because I would like to think that by now after so many years of this struggle I could help people or I could be free--comfortable in my body.

I want to post a new picture of myself.  I probably lost a few pounds, but I am not consistent and I need more work in this area.  I want to press on.  I want to be joyful instead of grouchy, resisting and stuck.  I want to accept the help where God gives it to me.  Reaching out my hand and saying lift me up Lord and help me walk this out....daily.

Thankful for Him and His grace and mercy for me--this control freak who wants to figure it all out and can't and really, who is NOT supposed to be trying to figure it all out.  But who is to be simply listening and obeying the God who loves me so much and wants to care for me. 

Am I the Same Me at Home?

I read a great blog article yesterday.  It was about reasons to quit blogging.  She spoke about what it would take for her to quit blogging.  I read this blog post here at a sweet blog I found today.  One of the reasons she gave was if she seemed like a separate person on her blog than she was in her real life at home-she would quit.  This was convicting, but refreshing all at the same time for me.

If it was refreshing it is because I don’t have to be someone else at my blog.  I can jabber on and be myself.  It was convicting because if I ever catch myself writing here on my blog and picture what my husband or children may think if they read it…and ask myself if they would believe I was being honest and myself….that is the true test for me.  They say that you are the real you behind closed doors at your home.  So if I am the same person here at my blog and at my work and at church and with my friends and at home, I am on the right track.

The problem is…I don’t always feel this way.  Sometimes I feel like what I talk about on my blog are things that my fam doesn’t want to hear about.  But sometimes perhaps it is me hiding from some attitudes and heart issues that I should address, but would rather talk other stuff.

Those are my thoughts.  Thinking on this.

3 Year Bible Reading Plan

In hopes to find something I could be consistent in when reading my Bible and learning all about the Word of God, I was struggling.  I was getting overwhelmed and feeling scattered.  I would start a reading plan and go a week or two, almost like the old dieting days, and then I would stop when I got behind.  I would start a Bible study and usually finish it, but then felt like I didn't know what to read next.  I would read some of the Bible, but didn't feel as connected or like I was learning well.  I wanted to try something new and different so I prayed and started looking for some ideas.  I remember a blogger friend I know said how she would read one chapter a day and it was not too much or too little.  It was just the right amount of reading.  So I started looking for a reading plan or something that I could do that would help me get through the whole Bible, but reading about one chapter per day.

I found this website when reading and downloaded the app from that site here. 



I started this in May, so going on 5 months of this reading plan.  I am really liking it.  It isn't beginning to end, it jumps around some and on Sundays it is always a Psalm.  So far this is working and I am really enjoying it.  

What do you think?  Check it out and see if this is something that may help you be consistent.  It may take 3 years to get through the whole Bible, but I will feel like I really absorbed it.  I have read the Bible in 90 days before, but there was not a lot of time for reflection.  This...I can do and I like lots!

More later...

Back to God's Perspective

Wrapped up in order and control in my own life, in so many areas, that I lost the perspective of God.  I got me focused and I got overwhelmed and much less peace.  It is so refreshing to remember now that if I commit everything to God and keep Him first, He takes care of all of my needs.  It isn't something logical that I need to figure out.  It is God.  Amen!

More later...

My First Step in Organizing Finances

For a long time I didn't have any order in money. I didn't have any real clear direction. I didn't know what I was missing out on.

It was probably 2011 when I really started diving in and asking for help and searching online for help to learn how to manage our money and live within our means. I remember saying of there was a school or class I could go to to learn all I could know about our money, I wanted to be there. 

Well I never did find just that, but it worked out to having help from my mom, help online and in books I had found and read, and reading and learning all I could about managing money. Then in 2013 I had a friend who could be a DaveRamsey  financial coach who helped me even more and this time it was tailored to my personal situation.  This was very helpful.



So here I am.  July 2013 and I love budgeting.  I love getting order in the finances and I love helping others simplify theirs.  It is fun and I can't wait to learn more and more.

My first step that I am thinking right now is being willing to look at the finances and being willing to take steps to make it right.  I believe if someone isn't willing to look at their finances and how what they are currently doing is working, then nobody can help them much until there is that willingness.

I just love it when I come across people who know they are in a financial mess, but they are willing to take a look at what is going on and see what steps can be taken to make some orderly changes and make a new start with a new direction.  Being willing opens so many doors to change for the better.

Budget does NOT Mean Cheap

Why does the word budget make me think that I have to live so cheaply?  I don't get it?  I believe people can be on a budget and spend big and really get whatever they want.  Let me look at what the word budget really means.

budg·et

  [buhj-it]  Show IPA noun, adjective, verb,budg·et·ed, budg·et·ing.

noun

1.

an estimate, often itemized, of expected income and expense for a given period in the future.

2.

a plan of operations based on such an estimate.

3.

an itemized allotment of funds, time, etc., for a given period.

4.

the total sum of money set aside or needed for a purpose: the construction budget.

5.

a limited stock or supply of something: his budget of goodwill.

An estimate, often itemized, of expected income and expense for a given period of time.  A plan of operations based on such an estimate.  Does that sound like cheap or suffering?  Does that sound stressful?  Does that sound like you have to squeeze by or you have to use coupons on everything you buy?  It doesn't to me.  To me it makes me feel organized and secure, like there is a plan.

Don't believe the lie that just because you have a budget you are going to be suffering like you are on a diet.  Now if you have gotten yourself into a financial mess there will be baby steps to get out of it, but just having the plan written out, is relieving and not restricting.  Freedom will come from it.

Here is a few good places to start: 

Dave Ramsey's Baby Steps
Dave Ramsey's Budgeting Forms
Dave Ramsey's Radio Show

Listen to some of his advice and it is practical and easy to understand.  I love listening to his radio show and also am doing the Baby Steps and have used some of his budgeting forms.  It can be fun if you change your perspective on budgeting. 

More later...

My Life IS God's

I share about bringing God back into my all but what if I have all along and was deceived by doubt making me feel like I'm not worthy and I haven't really brought Him all in?  Well I have and he is, like, forever.  I cannot doubt that I am His because I know that I am. 

Having a health coach really doesn't mean that I am relying on the person to help me or fix me (though I try to rely on the person, but God reminds me it doesn't work that way), but what she does is point me back to God over and over and help me work to see what it is He is teaching me and she redirects me in the way I set out to go, His way for me.  One thing that she is teaching me and what I am learning through the renewing the mind Bible study from her website, is that my thoughts are playing a big role, if not THE biggest role in this whole journey with eating and in life struggles.

Romans 12:2 says "Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect."

One question posed when I read the study yesterday was this, what are you thinking right before you break your boundaries.  Whatever goals you have for yourself, what is it that you are doing right before you decide to give up and not follow through?

My first answer was Question and Doubt!  (or rationalize)

So I am working on writing out the truths of what I am thinking before I decide to give up.  I want to change my thoughts and as His Word says, be transformed by the renewing of my mind.

More later!

What are you grateful for?

I feel led to switch gears this week a little. With new learning of lots of heart lessons and the main topics seem to be honoring God and being content, I would like to have a bit of a gratitude journal to brighten my day. With so much focus on self self self I must say I need to focus outwards or I may just drive myself crazy!!

So here I go. 

I am grateful that I can pray. 

I loved the sunshine today and the bright blue sky. 

I also loved the rain showers that came and went today. I love rain drops and clouds. 

I loved the cooler temperature after the rain cleared. 

I love a great book I'm reading. 

I'm grateful for sweet conversations with family members today. 

I'm grateful that I have a home and I have food and clothes. That is considered rich to many people. 

I'm grateful for the Bible, which is Gods love letter to me. 

I am grateful for a job I fit perfectly in ad enjoy and can use my talents. 

I'm grateful for family and the simple things that we take for granted like smiles and laughs and just being together. 

I'm thankful for a cozy bed and fluffy pillows. 

I'm grateful for summer time and flowers and sunshine. 

Be blessed and focus on what you are thankful for today. 

Bringing God Back into My All

I have spent a few years resisting God in several areas of my life, or sitting on the fence and not completely listening to Him and his loving guidance.  Not completely turned away, but resisting and not "all in."  I am realizing the past few days how much I have just rushed ahead of God in eating and also in budgeting and just listening to Him in general through daily walking out life.  I long to be authentic, but start to panic when He calls me to do something, so I tend to do it a little and numb myself out with other things so I am not fully doing what He says.  I am learning, as this years 1 Word is TRUST, to trust Him.  Also to realize that when I ask God to guide, that I am not the one in control, He is.  To also realize that His plans for me are not always going to look like I expect and also realize that His plans are actually going to be better than mine.  Always.  Such a relief.

So in the area of eating, I am realizing how He definitely has led me to take care of my body physically by eating between hunger and satisfaction and enjoying my life fully.  I also can say all of the progress I have had in this area as I shared in my last weeks post on intuitive eating principles and where I am, are because I have prayed over them and journaled and read and learned and it was a process, but it was Him helping me for sure.  I cannot deny that.  But when I started working towards intuitive eating again fully recently He helped me to realize I was leaving Him out.

You see, I could eat intuitively or think about it, but something was missing and I was still not feeling happy.  I was learning the tools, but my soul felt hungry still.  For Him, is what I realize it was.  I remember back when I was successful at eating for physical hunger I had a very close partner in this area of life and she helped me closely and prayed with me, and it was so good.  When I lost that after a few months it was challenging and I haven't got that help back just that way again---until now.  He has led me to a friend and someone who I have worked alongside with in Thin Within materials and classes for a while several years ago.  She now offers coaching, praise praise praise!

I am so excited to start a new journey with my health coach, Heidi Byslma, and look forward to what God is going to do in my life through her and with her accountability.  Please pray for me if you read this and know Him, because it is not going to be easy.  To un-numb myself from the things I had numbed myself to (normal life circumstances and challenges we all have) is going to take some vulnerability and courage, but He is able and He is going to help me as I am relying on Him as my main source.

So here is to restarting.  God is doing a new thing now! (In my eating, my money management-a whole new post-and my heart.)

Isaiah 43:19
See, I am doing a new thing!
Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?
I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland.

10 Principles of Intuitive Eating

I want to spell out what the principles are and then share where I am with each of them.  

1. Reject the Diet Mentality Throw out the diet books and magazine articles that offer you false hope of losing weight quickly, easily, and permanently. Get angry at the lies that have led you to feel as if you were a failure every time a new diet stopped working and you gained back all of the weight. If you allow even one small hope to linger that a new and better diet might be lurking around the corner, it will prevent you from being free to rediscover Intuitive Eating.

-Where am I with rejecting the diet mentality?  I have thrown out all of my diet books-years ago.  Magazine articles, gone.  Though...I am not sure that 100% of the thoughts of having false hope of losing weight quickly have left my mind yet, but I hope they continue to decrease.  Where she says, "if you allow even one small hope to linger that a new and better diet might be lurking around the corner, it will prevent you from being free to rediscover Intuitive Eating."  I do not believe I have this accomplished.  I do still get small hopes and haven't fully let go (though I have tried) of the idea that there is something I am missing that I need to do to lose all the weight and be healthy.  I haven't dove in completely, but I have been reserved.  Not fully letting go, and I feel it.

2. Honor Your Hunger Keep your body biologically fed with adequate energy and carbohydrates. Otherwise you can trigger a primal drive to overeat. Once you reach the moment of excessive hunger, all intentions of moderate, conscious eating are fleeting and irrelevant. Learning to honor this first biological signal sets the stage for re-building trust with yourself and food.

-Where am I here?  I am pretty good at honoring my hunger--and I don't go too long without eating.  I do sometimes grab food still when I am not hungry though and that causes me to drown out the feeling of hunger.  Though my goal is not to eat only for hunger 100% of the time--that will only cause me to turn Intuitive Eating into another diet.

3. Make Peace with Food Call a truce, stop the food fight! Give yourself unconditional permission to eat. If you tell yourself that you can't or shouldn't have a particular food, it can lead to intense feelings of deprivation that build into uncontrollable cravings and, often, bingeing When you finally “give-in” to your forbidden food, eating will be experienced with such intensity, it usually results in Last Supper overeating, and overwhelming guilt.

-Where am I at here?  THIS area I am definitely still a work in progress.  This is a huge goal I want to work on-"giving myself unconditional permission to eat."  I have not fully done this, like I said, I have not completely let go--but I am going to work on this.

4. Challenge the Food Police .Scream a loud "NO" to thoughts in your head that declare you're "good" for eating minimal calories or "bad" because you ate a piece of chocolate cake. The Food Police monitor the unreasonable rules that dieting has created . The police station is housed deep in your psyche, and its loud speaker shouts negative barbs, hopeless phrases, and guilt-provoking indictments. Chasing the Food Police away is a critical step in returning to Intuitive Eating.

-Do I challenge the food police?  I am PRETTY good at this and have overcome it for the most part.  I do not call food good or bad and I do not call myself good or bad for eating certain foods.  This is awesome.

5. Respect Your Fullness Listen for the body signals that tell you that you are no longer hungry. Observe the signs that show that you're comfortably full. Pause in the middle of a meal or food and ask yourself how the food tastes, and what is your current fullness level?

6. Discover the Satisfaction Factor The Japanese have the wisdom to promote pleasure as one of their goals of healthy living In our fury to be thin and healthy, we often overlook one of the most basic gifts of existence--the pleasure and satisfaction that can be found in the eating experience. When you eat what you really want, in an environment that is inviting and conducive, the pleasure you derive will be a powerful force in helping you feel satisfied and content. By providing this experience for yourself, you will find that it takes much less food to decide you've had "enough".

-Have I discovered the satisfaction factor? Yes.  I have come a LONG way in this.  People used to KNOW me for standing up while eating.  It was a rare occasion if I sat down to eat.  After going through this process and learning to enjoy my food---well I love to sit down to eat.  I cannot stand eating and not being comfortable and in peace to eat.  I like my plate to be served with food I want, and then I want to sit down and enjoy it, with a delicious drink to go with it.  I would have to say the only thing I need to work on here is eating in the car and also grabbing the chocolates that I tend to overeat on and walking around with them in my hand and doing my tasks while snacking.

7. Honor Your Feelings Without Using Food Find ways to comfort , nurture, distract, and resolve your issues without using food. Anxiety, loneliness, boredom, anger are emotions we all experience throughout life. Each has its own trigger, and each has its own appeasement. Food won't fix any of these feelings. It may comfort for the short term, distract from the pain, or even numb you into a food hangover. But food won't solve the problem. If anything, eating for an emotional hunger will only make you feel worse in the long run. You'll ultimately have to deal with the source of the emotion, as well as the discomfort of overeating.

-This.  Yeah this--I am a work in progress and this needs to be one of the topics I focus on.  She is right-eating for emotional hunger will only  make you feel worse-and it does and I need to work on this.  I still eat when I am overwhelmed, when I am bored, and sometimes just because.

8. Respect Your Body Accept your genetic blueprint. Just as a person with a shoe size of eight would not expect to realistically squeeze into a size six, it is equally as futile (and uncomfortable) to have the same expectation with body size. But mostly, respect your body, so you can feel better about who you are. It's hard to reject the diet mentality if you are unrealistic and overly critical about your body shape.

-Me?  Since I have released weight 2 times when eating when hungry and stopping when full and was a size 4-6 or 8, I feel I have this set in my mind this is where I need to be.  I must say that I may have eaten less than I needed at those times, so I need to have an open mind as to where my body goes as I continue in this process.  I have purchased some clothes here and there the past few weeks that I feel pretty and comfortable in to help accept me right where I am.  I have also cleaned out my drawers and closet of all the clothes I haven't worn, thought I would fit into one day, and that didn't make me feel pretty, and gotten rid of them--two trash bags full, and I will now get clothes as I continue to have my body change.

9. Exercise--Feel the Difference Forget militant exercise. Just get active and feel the difference. Shift your focus to how it feels to move your body, rather than the calorie burning effect of exercise. If you focus on how you feel from working out, such as energized, it can make the difference between rolling out of bed for a brisk morning walk or hitting the snooze alarm. If when you wake up, your only goal is to lose weight, it's usually not a motivating factor in that moment of time.

-I need to continue working on exercising and how I am thinking about it so I can instead of focusing on losing weight when exercising I want to have the thoughts of how I feel--stronger, fit, energized, and healthy.  

10 Honor Your Health--Gentle Nutrition Make food choices that honor your health and tastebuds while making you feel well. Remember that you don't have to eat a perfect diet to be healthy. You will not suddenly get a nutrient deficiency or gain weight from one snack, one meal, or one day of eating. It's what you eat consistently over time that matters, progress not perfection is what counts.

-I have to be careful with this one because I do not want to focus on what types of food I eat, but listening to my body...and I have come a long way in this area.  I learned about "whole body pleasers" while reading Thin Within and I love the perfect bite too.  I like combining the perfect combination of meat, veggies and cheese and maybe a touch of carbs in one bite, that is so good.  I want to continue working on what works best for my body and have gentle nutrition.

These principles were taken from the Intuitive Eating website.

Walking it Out...Intuitive Eating and Taking Care of Myself

Welcome to my series of Walking it Out-my journey to release weight and become healthy by listening to my body and eating for hunger and stopping when satisfied.  This is something I have been on a journey on for a while.

Some things I learned this past week that will help me on this journey:

• Find foods I enjoy and have them on hand, always.  
• When I grocery shop try and focus on what I like too and not just other people in my family.
• Do not rely on people completely-and I learned this Saturday morning in my quiet time while reading Job 12:24-25.  It struck me when reading my NLT Life Application study Bible notes.  It said this:  Job affirmed that no leader has any real wisdom apart from God.  No research or report can outweigh God's opinion.  No scientific discovery or medial advance takes him by surprise.  When we look for guidance for our decisions, we must recognize that God's wisdom is superior  to any the world has to offer.  Don't let earthly advisers dampen your desire to know God better.

Struggles this past week:

• I kept eating.  I didn't want to find out what was wrong or what I really wanted, I just ate.
• I struggled with letting go of the scale and feeling like, now what?  What do I do now to keep pressing on.  Felt a bit stuck again.
• Thoughts of this is too hard and I have too far to go.

Successes this past week:

• I purchased some new clothing items and was able to get things that were pretty and comfortable.  I want to dress cute all of the time and not just wait until I lose weight.
• I cleaned out closet and drawers of everything that wasn't pretty, cute, made me feel comfortable and looking good.  2 trashbags full.  Love it.
• I went to the gym Sunday.  Feels so good to exercise-I really love the elliptical and strength training-and again after I do that and then shower and get dressed pretty-I feel so awesome.  Love love love it!
• I did purchase a few things at the store for me to eat this week.  (though still need some more work in this area to have real good food I love to eat all week long and not just a few days worth)

Things to focus on in the coming week: 

• Start a small list of things I want to buy next weekend for groceries the following week that will give me some new ideas, refreshing yummy food I would love to eat for meals all week next week.  Give some thought and take care of myself.
• Go to the gym a few times, I love it when I take time to exercise I feel so good.
• Sit with some feelings and pause before grabbing food.  Even if it is a pause to start-I will work on this.  Pray and ask God to show me what to do next or ask Him what it is I need to understand about how I am feeling.
• Dress cute every day.

The Scale Has to Go...again

...and this time.  for good.

So I have discussed the scale before and since I started this walking it out journey and sharing it I did involve the scale and weighing myself.  I thought this time I was going to stick it out and make myself weigh.  Something in me though is reminding me why I stopped and threw the scale in the trash to begin with.

 



Let me share some of the reasons that I threw it away the first time:

• I thought it was controlling me.
• I thought if I just got rid of it, then I would lose weight and be free.
• I thought about it and looked at it when I went into the bathroom.  I had either good thoughts or bad thoughts about it, depending on what number it was telling me.
• If I weighed in the morning and it was not a number that showed a loss-it ruined my day and I was moody completely throughout the day-mad and disgusted.

Then some of the reasons that I bought a new one a few weeks ago:

• I had gone without a scale well over a year.  I really NEVER thought about it and was free from that.
• When I went to doctor appointments it was showing about 10-20 pounds higher than when I threw the scale out-so I thought it must be because I stopped weighing that I gained weight.
• I thought perhaps I went into denial because I wasn't seeing my weight. (though all the time I knew my clothes were getting tighter and the measuring tape was not shrinking when I would measure after doing workouts)-and I might add I wasn't really trying to listen to my body a whole lot so results were not really to be expected a whole lot.
• My husband and I started talking about getting healthy, very quick and brief conversation.  I read WAYYY into it and said I need a scale.  We can weigh ourselves and focus on our progress.  So, I searched two days to find a scale like the one I threw away and had all kinds of thoughts about how I used to exercise, eat balanced (though I binged frequently and also was always looking for a quick fix-it ruled my mind-weight loss back after my 1st child and on from there) and so all I needed was the scale back and then I would get this weight down and under control.
• Wow I gave that thing a lot of power doesn't it seem?

Now the reason I feel now it's a done deal-the scale has to go-for good:

• I weighed the first week-and I knew what the scale would say because I had recently weighed at the doctors office.  All was good.
• Then I went about my week and didn't weigh until the following week.  I was down, score.  It was working (though I didn't do anything differently than I had been doing).
• Then the following week I think I let loose and even ate more on purpose subconsciously because the thoughts were there that I had lost weight and ate like this the week before and lost. 
• Then I weighed that next week.  It was back up.  Then I was mad (trying to hide it though).  I was frustrated and didn't get it.  I tried to stay positive and said I will keep it up and press on.  The more I went through the days the more irritated and frustrated I got and the diet thoughts started coming back.  I thought, this is not good and the scale is not the thing that is going to fix my weight.  I don't need it.  So I am done with it.  The end.  (I will not throw it away as my husband may still want to use it-but it is going to have a new home in the garage.)

Oh and if you are wondering-how will you know if you are losing?  Well, I will know by the way I feel and sometimes by the way my clothes are fitting.  I know when I am truly listening to my body and when I am not-I should not expect any result of looser clothing when I hadn't been putting any effort in-but now as I walk this journey out I want to put more effort into taking care of myself.   (I have removed the pictures from previous posts of my weight on the scale as that does not define me and I will continue to share pictures of myself through this journey)

Thank you for listening.

Walking it Out with Intuitive Eating

Time to get real.

This week I did encounter some mind battles.  They went on in my head more than anything.  I am so thankful I have brought this struggle out into the light because it would be times like these that I would have started talking about how I would like to eat and as soon as I messed up or had a bad week, I would be changing the subject and going into denial and feeling down.

This time is different.  I want encouragement and I want to get up and press on.  I have known enough what I should do when discouragement comes, but I have never really put myself out there to accept help or encouragement.  So here I am to share my struggles and press on...perhaps a little journaling and sharing what I struggled with the past week and also share my successes.

I heard a quote or read something about our areas of weaknesses and how not to constantly feel overwhelmed with it.  There are areas where we can feel overwhelmed a lot and it runs over and over in our heads.  Like I can say, over and over, "I am so overwhelmed with my weight" (fill in the blank where weight is to whatever it is for you) and that thought can repeat itself hundreds of times a day subconsciously.  Well this what I read said...replace the word overwhelmed with overcomer.  So I may be overwhelmed, but I will be an overcomer.  It is going to be the constant work of retraining my thoughts to believe this, but isn't it encouraging?

Another part of this journey, it is so against the current of how everyone you read about or come in contact with who is trying to lose weight and be healthy.  I can't stand the thought of a diet, it isn't the answer.  My testimony on how I get healthy and to my natural weight are not going to be because I followed a certain formula.  That is a challenge in our world.  

It is challenging to write all of this because part of me doesn't fully believe it, doesn't believe I can do it.  It is the emotions part of me that wants to say, nah, let's just stay the weight and way you are because you will never get to where you were or where you want to be.  It will be too hard and you won't be able to do it and you won't know how to do it.  That is a lie.  

Successes this week:

• There were multiple times this week, and I want to say several times EACH day that I totally forgot about food.  It was not on my  mind, I wasn't worrying about it or thinking hey I want to eat something just because it tastes good.  Amazing feeling!
• I drank several large bottles of water this week, and enjoyed chugging them sometimes.  I love the taste of plain water, especially Fugi water or Evian--and it quenches my thirst the best.  
• I did two or three Fit2B studios workouts-you can click on my affiliate link for a discount using the code "myheartandyours"-I am loving these exercises and continue to feel stronger and have lost at least 2 inches in my waste so far, and the thing about it I love the most is I love doing the exercises, she is gentle but I still get sore, and my all time favorite thing--the exercises are done barefoot!! Love it!! You can get 3 months for $20, which is $10 savings on 3 months.  (Okay I'm done rambling  but I really do love the exercises and being completely honest or I wouldn't even mention it!) It is a success this week!
• I learned something in the Studio Eats challenge that sometimes just having foods made and available to grab is a great idea-even healthy nutritious foods because sometimes you just crave them, but if they are not available, you grab whatever is.  I am going to make a handful of things to have on hand through the week so if I do crave something healthy, it will be available.  This is something small and simple, but in the past something I would beat myself up over because I didn't eat any foods that were nourishing me.  There are many times I really am craving them, but they aren't available so I just grab whatever.

This Week's Struggles: 

• I did have some binge eating or what I call binge eating where I keep eating even when I am not hungry, and I am actually pretty stuffed.  And not just at one meal, but pretty much the whole day or whole second half of the day.  I probably did this 3 or so days this week.  Which is why my weight went up a touch, but I can't dwell on that.  I will press on and it will get better.
• I drank a lot of sweet tea and coca cola.  I also realized that I have to be intuitive about drinks just as I am in food.  Something I learned in the Studio Eats challenge (which I have no affiliation which, just loving the simple truths I am learning about intuitive eating here) day 14. 
• I did focus a bit on the scale this week and thought about weighing and wondering if it would go down again or go up.  I know the scale has no power over me, but I wanted to weigh so I will have my weight in the light and not hidden as hiding it has caused me to be in denial in the past.  So I will continue to weigh for now, but need to constantly renew my mind in the scale and not let it master me prayerfully.  If I find that it is NOT what I feel led to continue doing--I will then choose to toss the scale again and press on.

(*there used to be a picture of the scale here with my weight-but if you see the post here you will see why I have removed it)

Focuses for this coming week:  

Be authentic.

Bring things into the light instead of hiding them.

Focus on Jesus and walking with Him constantly.

Renew my mind when I start thinking things that I know are lies or when I am acting solely on emotions.

Try and wait for hunger before eating.

I am not alone in this challenge and Mary Organizes continues to join me in the journey to be free and to rid ourselves of all weight on our bodies that are not natural.  You can read about her journey each week as well.
 

Don't Forget-What it Means to be Weak

God uses my weaknesses. It's not that I have to be ashamed of all these weaknesses, but those weaknesses are the reason God can use me!

So I was reminded when glancing at a post by Joseph Prince last week how God uses our weaknesses. So instead of being ashamed of my weaknesses and trying to hide them or instead of trying to develop a plan to fix my weaknesses and work so hard trying to make them NOT be my weaknesses anymore...God made me just the way I am and He wants to use me even my weaknesses.

It's in my weakness that He is strong. So if I feel shy sometimes and not bold enough or strong enough to share truths as He wants me to---I need not worry.

No More Questioning...But Faith

I found the below blog post that I started and never finished in 2012--posting it now because it is good words for me to read:

I don't have to question anymore.  I can sit still and just circle in my minds questions and things and boy my mind goes to analyzing and trying to figure out SOOOO much!!!  You would go crazy in my head ha!  But what I am learning in this "living" I am working on in 2012 is that I don't have to question things anymore...what I do need to do is step out in faith one step at a time.  He gives me the direction and for a long time I have sat back and analyzed every part of it and then if I didn't seem to like it, then I would move on to something else.

I can't imagine the bucket list of things the Lord has given me that I have sat back and analyzed, doubted and not acted in faith on.  It is sad to say because I know I've missed out on living and missed out on things that God had planned for me, His beloved.

New Series-Walkin' it Out

Thought this was interesting going through posts I wrote last year or so...and never published, well I am clicking publish on this one below, enjoy! (looks like what I just started a few weeks ago was something that's been on my heart a while!)

Days in the life of a natural eater, me.  I have been grabbing control so many times to try and find the right plan to eat and drink just how I need to to lose weight, but what I have been running from is God and what He has originally told me to do.  Let go of the food rules and listen to my body.  Whether you eat, drink or whatever you do, do all for the glory of God.  So how does this get walked out.  He showed me this morning while listening to Joyce Meyer's radio show that I keep going around the same mountain, like Jonah ran, if I run I still have to come back and do it His way.  He told me to eat just enough food until I am satisfied and eat His Word to make me strong.  I pray against trying to make this a diet.  I will combine all I have learned in the readings and studies of eating naturally, when hungry, and stopping when satisfied.  He also showed me that when I do what he says then I will be able to minister to others and help them. 

Jesus Calling for Kids yesterday-that spoke to me: The title was TOUGH IT OUT.

So tough it out I will do.  That will be the name of the series coming November 1st. (obviously I did not start this in November lol)

Tough it out, Walkin' it Out-30 days  a lifetime journey of walking it out as a intuitive natural eater and soaking up His Word.

Join me in this!?

What do you do exactly?  Listen to your body.  I think I am not even listening to my body, how can I help others to do this?  Well I can't, I'm weak but He is strong.

What is normal or natural eating you say?  I will give a definition from Ellyn Satter:

"Normal eating is going to the table hungry and eating until you are satisfied. It is being able to choose food you like and eat it and truly get enough of it -not just stop eating because you think you should. Normal eating is being able to give some thought to your food selection so you get nutritious food, but not being so wary and restrictive that you miss out on enjoyable food. Normal eating is giving yourself permission to eat sometimes because you are happy, sad or bored, or just because it feels good. Normal eating is mostly three meals a day, or four or five, or it can be choosing to munch along the way. It is leaving some cookies on the plate because you know you can have some again tomorrow, or it is eating more now because they taste so wonderful. Normal eating is overeating at times, feeling stuffed and uncomfortable. And it can be undereating at times and wishing you had more. Normal eating is trusting your body to make up for your mistakes in eating. Normal eating takes up some of your time and attention, but keeps its place as only one important area of your life.

In short, normal eating is flexible. It varies in response to your hunger, your schedule, your proximity to food and your feelings.

- See more at: http://www.ellynsatter.com/what-is-normal-eating-i-62.html#sthash.tIVKqd8u.dpuf"

So I am going to share about my journey God willing and be vulnerable.  Put myself out there and walk this out.   Blogging.  Journaling.  Sharing.  Pictures.  Videos.  Here we go, Lord guide me, help me to be still and not be so impulsive...and also to remember really really remember that it won't always be easy, but I do NOT have to run.  In the beginning it will certainly be more challenging, but that is not a sign to give up.  Help me remember that in my pain and suffering and grumbling.  In Jesus Name, Amen

p.s.  this is not a diet or a program.  it is life and living it out fully intentionally.

More later...
Kim :)

Good Morning-Be Still and Know

What the Lord has been teaching me I feel, lately, is to slow down, be still.  You remember that scripture:

Psalm 46:10a Be still, and know that I am God!

It seems all of the things lately that I "think" are problems or things I should work on lately are just sort of fabricated things my mind created to focus on instead of the Lord.  If I be still and listen to God, He calms my thoughts and my mind.  I feel like I have spiritual ADD.  Working on practicing His presence and just being still, oh how hard that is for me but I will press on and that will change by His grace.  If I rush I have been told I will miss so much.

I found this song just while googling, going to listen to it now.  I will paste the lyrics below it, maybe it will minister to someone's heart today.

Walking it Out

My journey to get to my natural weight eating intuitively and learning to have balance in my life. Going against the flow of the worlds way to release weight.  I started last week bravely sharing my weight and a picture of me. I did that as I feel it helped me to bring my struggle into the light. I believe that helps me continue walking forward. If I were to hide it and wait until I accomplished weight release to tell, well I tried that and it wasn't working for me.  So here I am.

This week I didn't do anything different than I have been doing. I have been working on releasing extra food to God when I am tempted to eat past full. I have cried out to Him when I was wanting to eat but wasn't hungry and asked Him for help. And I have asked forgiveness for eating way more than I needed, bingeing some, and pressed on.  I am trying to bring Him into my struggles because that's what works. He works. He is awesome. 

Some of my highlights of this week walking this out: 

I listened to what God was telling me each day. When I listen to him it is easier to not grab for food when I'm not hungry. He satisfies. Completely when we let Him. 

I finished a meal and several times this week I stopped eating--when usually I would run right past the fullness boundary and stuff myself. I just thought a moment and said, "hey I don't think I'm hungry, so I'll put this up." That simple. 

I found time to exercise doing what I love. Walking and some strength training with Fit2B Studios. I walked 3 days this week around my neighborhood while my kids rode their bikes along with me. We went in evening after dinner and it wasn't too hot. Loved it. I use the Runkeeper app to track my distances and time. It's fun! 

Some of my struggles this week while walking this out:

I did struggle with being frustrated a few days and I overate. Part of it was I didn't have the food I wanted in the house so nothing was filling my craving. I also realized that I was thirsty for water and not hungry. 

The time of the month is probably coming close and this makes me want to eat and snack and grab. 

If you would like to see where I started journaling along this journey it was last week and here is the link.  So I did weigh myself a few times this week. I also measured my waist. I have been working on healing my distastes in my tummy with the Fit2B workouts and I lost 2" in the last two weeks just around my belly button. It is healing! This is probably my favorite workouts I have EVER done and I plan to continue.  If you are interested in trying it out I have an affiliate link you are welcome to check out here.  I also released some weight. Below I will share a picture of my scale--and every few weeks I will share my pictures of me.

(*I have removed the picture of my weight on the scale as that does not define me and I share here why, though I will continue to share pictures of myself through this journey)

Down almost 2 pounds in a week, though I am in no hurry, I am just journeying along one day at a time.  I can't say it will always show a loss, but I am going forward in the direction to be my natural weight and sometimes there will be a few steps back, and that is okay, as long as I am not giving up. :)

Thank you for journeying along with me and I hope that this accountability will be beneficial for me as I walk out intuitive eating and having God as my personal trainer. 

Share your comments and stories with me. I would love to hear them!

Goals Accomplished Last Week

Goals for this week:

Personal/Heart Goals:

1. Continue reading 3-year Bible plan and be consistent with it.  I don't want to start something like this, and I do often, and then get tired of it and try and move on to something else.  I want something I can stay steady and consistent in.  This is helping me and to know I have a plan in staying steady in reading all of God's Word is great.  I read one chapter a day and read it a few times and read the commentaries on it and pray about it and I like it.  I then still have time to read for Life Group and other books.
2. Quiet time each morning-sit and be still.  
3. Drink more water.  I just ran out of sweet tea.  I crave it and drink it way too much.  Focus on 2 sweet drinks per day this week.  Rest of drinks-water!  Drank more than 2 per day.
4. Gym 2 times this week-two full body workouts or upper body one day and lower the next.  Or may try 2 body pump classes. First week of summer-kids stayed up way late despite my trying to get them in bed earlier, so early mornings didn't' work out.
5. Walk neighborhood with kids 3 days this week.

Organize Life Goals:

1. I am trying 5 Dinners in ONE Hour-prepped all meals Sunday afternoon-in ONE hour!  Cook meals Sun-Thur that I prepped. Though I followed through with this, most meals were not enjoyed because they are used to me cooking their favorites, I do not think this approach with new recipes will work too well, but perhaps one new meal a week I can incorporate.
2. Finish reading The Energy Bus for work.
3. Load of laundry per day. I didn't try too hard on this-maybe next week.
4. Schedule me time each day.  Use Google calendar as I have been for my personal planning.
5. Stick to numbers I put in budget for each category and don't move money around different categories. Work in progress here.

My One Goal For the Week

So I was reading through an eBook today and I realized that I keep aiming for multiple goals.  Feeling not accomplished when I do this.  So I decided to focus on ONE goal this week.  Maybe one goal per week from now on out.  Feeling scattered with many goals and many focuses going all over the place.

Maybe.  Maybe.  Maybe.

Should I even talk about goals.  Should I focus just on Jesus instead.  Perhaps the goal for the week should be focusing on Jesus.  The Bible does say to seek FIRST the Kingdom of God and ALL else will be added unto you.  Thank you Lord for that truth you just laid on my heart clearly.  Wow.  He is amazing.  When we let Him take over and listen to Him we can actually see that.

I am going to do away with goals this week.  I am going to do away with my "to do" lists.  My thoughts scattering all over the place.

Jesus is my goal.

Jesus is my goal.

Jesus is my goal.

He is life.  He is love.  He is everything I need.  Jesus is my goal.

Walking it Out-My Journey to My Natural Weight

I have been denying it for far too long.  I have not listened to the things I have learned for far too long.  It is time to be obedient, to follow through and to pray for courage to do this, because I can't do it alone.  I keep trying and it gets NOWHERE.

See if I go through my blog and my personal journals and read all I have been studying, learning and praying about for the past 2-8 years of my life, I will see where I need to go.  I keep feeling like I have to start over. That I don't know what to do or that I am never going to figure this weight loss taking care of my body thing.

If you read here you can see where I lost 14 pounds by just listening to my body and eating when hungry and stopping when full.  NO legalism and no rules.  Or here I was talking about my re-commitment to God in eating for hunger and letting Him fill me up.  Or what about here when I talk about life is more than food!  And this is when I shared about how God became my personal trainer, and I seem to forget often how I made this decision and how clear it was.  Doubt has crept in much.  And one other one here I see is when I made goals in 2011.  It was this time a year.  Here is one more I just found-me committing, once again.  That is discouraging in a way.

If you read through my posts in this area you will see how scattered I get and you will see how I tend to turn from the truths He has shown me and try and grab a plan or a "way" of doing it, a way of losing weight, my own schemes or plans.  They just don't work.  How I wish I knew the exact right thing to do and when and I can see from reading past blog posts about this that I can't figure it all out, I just need to start taking steps.  I can't commit to anything except for getting on my knees every day and surrendering.

But see these are all lies thinking how I should know the exact right thing to do or find the perfect plan or program.  They have to be.  I have recorded all I have learned.  The only thing lacking is follow through.  Actually doing what God has shown me, relying on Him and letting Him get me through the times I don't want to try and allowing Him to work.  So that is what these posts are about.

I am about to get real.  It is not easy for me to share these things as they are things you want to hide and not let anyone know.  I am about to get on my knees every day and give it all to God.  I am going to do this and I am joining in with friends, particularly Mary Organizes because she is on this journey too, to get rid of excess weight and take care of her body.  

I will be implementing all I have learned from eating when hungry, stopping when full, eating foods my body is craving and listen to my body, intuitive eating, eat fist full size of food at each hunger, and most importantly read God's Word and let Him fill me up, go to God when I want to eat and I am not hungry, fast as God leads to break bondage and sow seeds to my Spirit and not the flesh.  Those are some things that I will be doing and walking out putting into action.

Before Pictures 6/9/2013


Before weight on the scale: 6/9/2013
(*before there was a picture of the scale here with the number of my weight, but you will see on this post here why I have removed it-I will continue to share pictures of myself though for sure)

I will get up and I will be pressing on.  I will not fail at this until I give up.  And I am not giving up!

Every week I will be posting my Walking it Out post for the week.  I am in this for the long haul.  I have always wanted to post my goals, do them, and then share the after picture.  But I feel like in a way that was not allowing me to be accountable for my goals.  My goal is Jesus.  My goal is obeying Him.  My goal is walking this out what He has taught me.  I am doing it in front of whoever He sends this way to encourage and to walk it out right along with me.  So if you are joining me or want to walk it out with me in the ways He has taught you, welcome and thank you. (Oh and one more thing, posting this picture is scary because I do NOT feel this big at. all.!!!)

More later...

(after writing this post I went to read up and absorb some reading on intuitive eating and came across some really sweet blogs...stumbled upon Studio Eats and signed up for the 21 day intuitive eating challenge, wanted to share that.)

Testimony Tuesday

God speaks to our hearts just what we need to hear when we are willing to listen, and sometimes even when we are not.  I love Him and He loves us.

Ecclesiastes 4:6

This is also related to my weight and body journey I have been on.  God has shown me a Scripture so clearly I couldn't miss it.  This will be the 3rd Scripture that God has put clearly in front of me to help me in my journey to learn how He wants me to eat.  He has also shown me a little nugget about praying before I eat-and praying with faith, not just saying a prayer to say a prayer.

Ecclesiastes 4:6 spoke so clearly to my heart in the struggle I was feeling lately regarding food struggles and my weight.

NLT Ecclesiastes 4:6 says this:

And yet, "Better to have one handful with quietness than two handfuls with hard work and chasing the wind."

I have been focusing on what I can do (and NOT be uncomfortable) to lose the weight.  Or really I have been thinking and not really realizing it, what can I do to not change from the inside but take the easy way out?

So this is what I would say is the clear 3rd Word God had shown me in eating. I can't grasp for more or try to understand more than what He has already put under my nose.  I will be mindful with His help to have one handful of food when I am hungry and have quietness and peace instead of grabbing more and having two handfuls and then trying to work harder to lose the weight-getting nowhere-like chasing the wind.

Thank you Lord for speaking to my heart in my struggle with eating, but I want to break through and want to press on to the goal which you have for me, and that is total freedom and I know you are working.  Touch our hearts all who read this and speak to us in what you would want us to learn in this.  You are wonderful and an awesome daddy.  In Jesus Name, Amen

10 Goals for this Week

Still joining in with Money Saving Mom in making weekly goals and pressing on to make progress in life as I have been feeling scattered for a while.  Writing the goals down here is my sense of accountability to keep on going and pursuing.  Below are my goals from last week and then I will share what I would like my goals for this week to be.  

Personal/Heart Goals:

1. Continue 3 year Bible reading plan I started last week.
2. Read James 5 for Life group reading and find story to relate to my life to share
3. Journal on my Google Drive journal when not at home and don't have my personal writing journal so that I can still record what is on my heart and what I am learning.
4. Gym 2 days this week-strength training. Only made it 1 times this week.
5. Walk 3 days this week with kids around the neighborhood.  Walked 2 days-one with kids and one alone.

Organize Life Goals:

1. Inspired while reading 3-2-1 Stop to start minimizing things in our home that are not needed-declutter to put it simply.  Declutter 1 thing this week. Major Accomplishment decluttering my kitchen counter that has been a mess for years!  It is completely empty now.  Praise-yay!!  I will share pictures of this!
2. Finish reading The Energy Bus for work.  About 30 more minutes of reading until I am done with this!
3. Stick to budget and don't try and wiggle out of or rearrange certain categories with only a certain amount budgeted.  This will be a goal for a while, as I will spend more and figure out where to pull the money from later.  It's a huge praise and accomplishment that I have an awesome budget now compared to how I used to be, but I have some more work in this area.
4. Stay positive and focus on God when I feel like giving up in taking care of myself-physically and spiritually.
5. Drink more water.  Goal to drink only water and no soda or sweet tea starting in June.  Get used to this.

Goals for this week:

Personal/Heart Goals:

1. Continue reading 3-year Bible plan and be consistent with it.  I don't want to start something like this, and I do often, and then get tired of it and try and move on to something else.  I want something I can stay steady and consistent in.  This is helping me and to know I have a plan in staying steady in reading all of God's Word is great.  I read one chapter a day and read it a few times and read the commentaries on it and pray about it and I like it.  I then still have time to read for Life Group and other books.
2. Quiet time each morning-sit and be still.  
3. Drink more water.  I just ran out of sweet tea.  I crave it and drink it way too much.  Focus on 2 sweet drinks per day this week.  Rest of drinks-water!
4. Gym 2 times this week-two full body workouts or upper body one day and lower the next.  Or may try 2 body pump classes.
5. Walk neighborhood with kids 3 days this week.

Organize Life Goals:

1. I am trying 5 Dinners in ONE Hour-prepped all meals Sunday afternoon-in ONE hour!  Cook meals Sun-Thur that I prepped.
2. Finish reading The Energy Bus for work.
3. Load of laundry per day.
4. Schedule me time each day.  Use Google calendar as I have been for my personal planning.
5. Stick to numbers I put in budget for each category and don't move money around different categories.

More later...