Choose.

Choice. The Lord has shown me how clear it is that each moment I have a choice. Am I going to choose Him and His way or am I going to choose my own. Each moment I can rely on Him to help me make that choice. My desire is to choose Him more and more moments.

Taking a Break

Saw the movie Courageous today. I recommend it to everyone. After that I felt more confirmation of what I have felt the Lord asking me to do. Disconnect from the Internet and work on the relationships in my home and life. What are my priorities. Am I putting first who He wants me to put first? My flesh is weak but my Spirit is willing. So I'm taking a break from blogging until the Lord puts it on my heart again to start back. Lord be with every person who reads this blog and draw them closer to You. In Jesus Name, Amen

Slow Down

Change is still in the air.  As I attempt over and over to be still and listen to His voice, I find myself rushing by daily.  I get glimpses of Him, but wow what would it be like I want to know, to not rush by Him but to sit at His feet daily and see all He has for me.  What would my day be like if I lived it for Him and the way He led and not the way that I want it, my way.

Slowing down.  Lord show me what my day will look like if I just slow down and follow Your lead all day long. The enemy wants me to think that this is a thing I can never do and accomplish on a daily basis, forever.  I hear things like, "oh thats impossible, why are you even trying?", or, "you cannot do that forever so why are you even trying?", or, "there is no way that you can live every day following Jesus because it would be way too hard, impossible and take way too much effort, to actually listen and follow Him all day long, just do it some your way and some His!"  I sit still.  My soul and Spirit sit.  I make my own self miserable doing things my way.  I want to be in a place of slowing down and staying there.  Enjoying everyday life with Jesus His way.  In Jesus Name, Amen

3 in 30

I like this new challenge that I have seen on Sam's Noggin blog, I like 30 day goals, and I am going to take 3 things that I am already doing and have them as my 3 goals in 30 days.  I think this is a good way to stay on top of things that I am working on in my walk in life.

My 3 goals:

1. Finish reading the Bible in 90 Days.  This will end October 8th and by God's grace I will press on and finish it and continue hoping for a renewed relationship with the Lord and to learn things I have never learned before.
2. Focus on feeding on God's Word and my relationship with Him and not food.  Take one moment at a time and learn to recognize my true hunger signals and with His help learn to stop when I am satisfied and not grab for more food.
3. Internet breaks.  Finish reading my Bible in 90 Days reading before I "play" on the internet.  Reading email for work or quick things ok, but no playing on the internet until my reading is done.

More later...love to you...Rest in Him

I had victories today praise God!! I want to highlight those and not all the failures I tend to want to focus on.  The Lord helped me today to realize I needed to cut out sweet drinks for a season.  I had mostly water and I had 1 1/2 coke zero.  


So many emotions and chaos in my heart and mind, I just am praying for stability and calmness in my Spirit and for the reality of how to stay in Jesus arms, rest in Him, constantly.  I know all the things around me can be an utter chaos, but my Spirit can still be resting in Him and full of peace and joy.  He is my constant...my stability.  Him alone.


I am a few days behind on my reading B90days, but will be catching up this weekend.  I have more time on my hands as I have just recently had a change in my work status and have more time now to be wife, mommy and homekeeper.  Praising God HE is my perfect provision.  

It will be well with my soul, that I trust

More later...love to You, rest in Him <3

Messy Day

Today was a messy day in eating.  Today was an all over the place kind of emotional day as well.  Bringing to mind to myself that my emotions cannot rule me or I will always be all over the place.  


My eating today started with fast food.  I was hungry so that is good but I did have trouble stopping.  It seems that is going to be something I am on my knees daily with, well should be that way anyways, but even more dependence and crying out with the desire to stop eating when I am satisfied.  I try to hold on to "more" when I don't need it.  That is what is causing my waistband to expand.


My next time that I ate I was not completely hungry but getting close.  I had a soft taco and started on a second, then felt the Lord saying I should stop that I was satisfied and would you know it, praise!!  I stopped, gave the rest to my hubby and just stopped.  I did eat a few bites of a brownie afterwards but then that was all.  I have to say that was a victory.  Thank you Lord, help me to not discount that as something because I did not do it all perfect.


The rest of the day I did eat when I was not hungry, had a bowl of chili I made for dinner and I was not all the way hungry, and really that just caused discomfort physically.  I didn't need it.


Main lesson learned today to sum it up in one word, what would it be......wait.


Wait on Him.  Wait for hunger.  Wait on His lead.  Wait before I jump into something I don't need.  Wait.

More later...love to you...

Mini Bible study from my friend Heidi

Reading back on Heidi's blog a few minutes ago I came to something perfect timing relating my last post and thoughts I have thought today.  This is the post, click here to read it and then I will post my answers below.

"Hebrews 12:1-4 says:
Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart. In your struggle against sin, you have not yet resisted to the point of shedding your blood.

A short bible study for you...
1.) What are some things that could hold you back according to this passage above?
2.) What can you do about it according to this passage?
3.) What will that look like for YOU practically?
4.) What practices are you told to take part in according to this passage?
5.) To what degree did Jesus go in removing obstacles and hindrances?
6.) Take a moment and pray in response to these things!"

1. Some things that could hold me back according to the passage above?

Things holding me back are doubt, fear, LIES

2.  What can I do about it according to this passage?

I can throw them off and keep my eyes fixed on Jesus and persevere.  Fix my eyes on JESUS.  Simple truth.

3.  What will this look like for me practically?

Giving Jesus everything, all moments, all food, all.  Fixing my eyes on Him the moment I wake up and seek Him each moment through the day, every step, for His direction.  When food comes into the picture, whether physically I see it or mentally I think about it, immediately focus on Him, fix on Him, seek His guidance.  I can go in closet or bathroom and pray for His will and for Him to give me the will to do His will and line my heart up with His.  Dwell in Him.  Rest in Him.  Stay in each moment and rest in Him, don't get ahead of Him.

4.  What practices does this passage tell me to do?

Throw off...

Run...

Fix eyes on Jesus...

Consider Him and realize I have not yet shed blood like He did in my struggles...

5.  To what degree did Jesus go in removing obstacles?

He shed blood

6.  Pray in response to these things.

Lord.  I need You.  To me in my flesh this seems impossible to do again, to release food and walk by the Spirit, by faith.  But with You it is NOT impossible.  I commit anew, refreshed, my life to You, my food and eating and all areas of my life, help me fall in love with you over again.  Lord I pray you will help me daily walk this out so real that I know what step to take one after another.  Help me to throw off all that hinders me each moment, run to you and run with endurance where you put me, to fix my eyes on You continually and each moment when I think it is too hard please help me consider You and what you went through for me.  In Jesus Name, Amen

Be Vulnerable and Step Out

I want to be vulnerable and step out in faith with the Lord's help.  I have been in denial for much too long.  I have hidden a little so that I did not have to be vulnerable because, well, lets face it, I think we all enjoy comfort and being out of that comfort zone is not what we crave.  But I do crave to be in God's will and if being challenged, vulnerable, and living in each moment depending on Him is what is going to bring me results in my heart as well as physically.

I think sometimes even though we may not say what we are feeling, the way we act and live out our life explains what we are feeling.  I have gained weight and been stuck in a defeated attitude the past two years.  I have not surrendered all in this area.  I have held back.  But my weight gain and the way I feel physically is the fruits of those actions.

So here I am...wanting to step out here and journal my way through really surrendering and letting go of food and depending on the Lord falling in love with Him more every day.  I can do this.  I can do ALL things through Christ who strengthens me.

Journaling...how is that going to look.  Its going to show some messy things, some failures, and a lot of victory.  What the Lord has shown me to do that I have NOT fully done is, as I have shared before, to eat only when I am physically hungry and eat until I have had just enough (not too much)...and also to eat foods that make my body strong and He will lead me in this as I listen and trust Him.

Stepping out, transitioning my ways, into a new way of living.  Lord I commit this to you...please help me as I surrender and come to you just as I am, a mess who has been feeling defeated for far too long and not allowed You to do all the work in me that you want.  Take my fears and hesitations.  In Jesus Name, Amen

Heart song for me today...

Love to you...more later...Rest in Him

Day 53 Bible in 90 Days

I am more than halfway through with reading the Bible, the entire Bible, through.  I am so excited to be being filled daily with God's Word.  I am behind two or three days but praying I catch up soon.

The Lord is calling me and putting it on my heart to meet with Him in the mornings.  Jesus Calling by Sarah Young today was wonderful in reminding me of this.

Right now I am in Isaiah.  It is difficult to understand completely what I am reading, but I know I will remember things as I go back and study.

More later...

God is My Personal Trainer

I had the reminder today that God still is my personal trainer.  I am so prone to just grab other ideas or programs or systems or guidelines to treat my body the way I want or think I should, but God reminds me again that He alone is all I need and He will show me what He wants for me.  For me it is eating when I am hungry, stopping when satisfied, eating foods that make my body strong and a new boundary that I feel He is bringing to my mind that I have heard before is when tempted to put anything to my mouth, wait 5 minutes.  Pray and ask Him why I want to eat and to for Him to fill me up, and if I still want that "thing" after 5 minutes then I can eat it.


I think as I do this more and more it will help me to realize that I really didn't want that "thing" to begin with.  


In "Eating with the King" Terri Rockewell says in regards to getting confused and wanting to turn to many different things:  (Page ix) 


"Oh, I lost 25 pounds in those four months.  But, don't seek Him for that reason!  He's worthy of so much better than that!  The pure JOY I experienced in the process of learning to be fed by my HEavenly Father far surpassed the thrill of tucking in my shirts and wearing belts for the first time since middle school. (But, that was part of the joy that Jesus and I celebrated together.


Our intimacy at that time was meal-by-meal, moment-by-moment.  We celebrated the Lord's Supper all day.  It was true communion as I waited upon Him for true bodily hunger and relied upon Him to show me fullness.  


It really was as simple as that.  Satan likes to confuse us with many options and complex costly weight loss plans and programs.  Jesus simply says, 'Here I am.  I stand at the door and knock.  If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with him and him with me. -Revelation 3:20'"


Stuck is how I've felt the past two years.  Stuck is not where I am staying.  Lord help me press on in blind faith.  Help me to journal all my thoughts and find the lies that I have been believing and give me truths from You to replace those lies, renew my mind Lord and renew anyones mind that is reading this that needs to hear Your truth and stop believing lies and live...live the abundant life in Jesus that you want us to live.  Fill us up Lord, in Jesus Name, Amen

Love to you...more later!

Being still

I am being quite and still as I can and listening to the Lord through my days.  Letting Him lead.  I don't have a lot to share right now but these two songs that He put on my heart the other day.  He is teaching me to "chill out" and stop controlling and focus on Jesus.  That is my daily lesson right now for a while, as long as He sees fit until its a renewed mind of just doing that habitually, maybe forever :)  So these songs really were great to listen to.

This one helped me when I condemn, feel guilty, feel like I am falling short, He played this song on K-love at the PERFECT time, isn't He perfect like that?!

This next song also I heard while listening to K-Love and Plumb was on with them talking and sharing.  She said God had to teach her that He was the only one who could satisfy her...she would get all stressed out thinking she needed to do "this" exercise, eat "this" way, read "this" book on parenting, etc.  He was the only one alone she needed and He told her to "chill out" and that He loved her, to calm down, be still, just stop.

More later...love to you!

Lies & the Battle in My Mind

To prevent me from God's will, walking by His Spirit that lives in me forever, is big fat lies and a big spiritual battle in my mind.  Now this isn't anything that can't be overcome with the Lord on my side.  But, there are lies that have kept me from truly walking this out and believing that it can be overcome and I can walk daily by His Spirit that lives in me.  My main struggle seems to be with food for the last several years.


The Lord is changing me by His Word and by His Spirit in me.  I long now more than ever to be close to Him, to be walking completely in His Spirit and to fill up with Him alone.  I am doing none of this on my own but He is doing the work in me and giving me the desire and I am wanting to run into His arms.


Today this song has been on my heart...listen and then listen again, I am going to do that also, because I think these words are something He has really put on my heart, I've been singing it all day.

Love to you...more later!

Saying Good-Bye to Food Once & For All

For me it is like letting go of a loved one.  I cannot believe the hold that food has had on me the past two years.  Having been freed from it twice already in the past 5 years, you would think I knew how to cling to God and let Him help me in this so I was never in bondage again.  How did I end up back here you ask...the answer, one single compromise after another.

The Lord is showing me things, that I have seemed to been ignoring or in denial about the past two years, this past week.  Things about sin and how that is what I should be realizing is going on, and not that I am gaining weight and am losing control.  New perspective coming in my life and changes are in store in me as well.  God is doing a new thing and He is working even now and the fruits of His work will be showing up soon, when I am not even expecting it!  Thankful for that.


Two scriptures on my heart:


Isaiah 43:19 For I am about to do something new. See, I have already begun! Do you not see it? I will make a pathway through the wilderness. I will create rivers in the dry wasteland.


The other I cannot seem to find at the moment but I know what the message of it is...it says that as soon as we think we have "got it" or that we are doing good, be careful because then we are sure to stumble.  


So I want to rely on the Lord and learn to be more and more reliant on Him and not myself, because as soon as I think I have anything under control it will not be pretty.  God alone.  He is enough.  Food has to go and cannot hold a place in my heart anymore.  


It is like losing a great friend, this food.  I'm turning my back and asking God for help to learn how to fully live for Him and ENJOY Jesus each moment every day and work through feelings and circumstances without my old friend (idol/god but totally not a god), food.  


Good bye food (my love for it).  

Lord help me as I step out in faith.  I want this next day to be different.  Forgive me my sins, cleanse me and help me turn my back to the idols in my life and turn my face towards You and enjoy life!~  Thank you for today and for life and breath, I pray whoever reads this today will hear what You are saying to them and that they will just love you more.  In Jesus Name, Amen :)


Love to you...more later....


take a listen 

Good morning.  I am caught up on my reading the Bible in 90 days.  This week it is Ezra, Nehemiah, Esther, Job and then into the Psalms towards the weekend.  I am really looking forward to a week or more of reading in the Psalms.  I feel it will be perfect timing too as it is the first week my kids all go back to school, I will need the Psalms for sure.

The change I am feeling in wanting to make in my blog will be that of something I learned while reading "A Woman After God's Own Heart" by Elizabeth George.  She is talking about what we will do with our life and our passions and how God will use us.  She talks about finding 5 areas that you are passionate about and just going to work studying and learning in those areas.  To make 5 folders and just add things to them as you grow and learn.  Well I have had my 5 folders for a few years but they are mostly empty.  I feel that I am going to change my blog into my 5 folders and have 5 tabs on 5 different areas of life that I am passionate about and just learn and grow in the Lord and share in those areas as God teaches me.  I am excited but will wait for the perfect timing to make those changes.

Lately in my eating I have felt the Lord really showing me to listen to Him.  Weight gain has been the cause of me trying to lose weight or eat the way "I" wanted and not what He wanted.  I have to align my desires with His and then things will flow and my weight will decrease.

I am not committing to another study until I am done with my awesome reading the Bible in 90 Days, but am reading through a book/devotional called Eating with the King and she talks about eating for hunger only.  That is what the Lord is really calling me to focus on in walking it out each day.  Lord help me to listen and obey.  In Jesus Name, Amen

More later...love to you!

MIA

I have not posted in a while.  I have been sucked into reading the Bible in 90 Days and enjoying and being busy the last few weeks of summer.  I have been praying about what the Lord would want me to talk more about on my blog and feel changes will be coming soon, good ones as far as I can see, and I look forward to seeing how it changes soon.

I am just combing through God's Word, getting to know Him better by seeing in the Bible how His character is throughout and how he responds and has relations with people in the Bible.  It helps me so much to relate it to my life, and i am only 26% through the Bible.  He has great things in store for me and my heart in this wonderful journey.

If you are interested in reading the Bible this way, I already know I will recommend it because it is changing me so much and teaching me a lot, check this out:  Moms Tool Box!

More later, love to you!!!


Kim

Bible in 90 Days-Day 15

This is the day the Lord has made, I will rejoice and be glad in it.  I will never give up reading through the Bible in 90 days, the Lord will guide me and help me do this.  Things seem to come up and circumstances are happening that are temptations to be discouraged, but the Lord will win, He gets the victory, thank you Lord!!  So thankful that You are all I need, my perfect provision.

I have a lot of notes to write down on here from the last few busy days that I have not gotten to post.  I think tonight or soon I am going to have a post of the scriptures that have just spoke to my heart so much while reading.  I am growing closer to the Lord through this and I have read a LOT of the Bible, but reading it through in 90 days is like combing through it and making everything fall into place, giving me clearer understanding as the Holy Spirit leads me and teaches me.  I also thought about the scripture this morning about I hide Your Word in my heart so I might not sin against you.  

Psalm 119: 11 I have hidden your word in my heart, that I might not sin against you.

That is what I am doing.  I am hiding, as I read through this, His entire Word in my heart so I might not sin against Him.  I can't do it myself, He has to do it and I am resting in Him.

Praying everyone has a fabulous day in the Lord and just relying on Him all day long, allowing Him to fill them up and guide them.  He is amazing.  More later...Love to you!

Exodus into Numbers

Its been a busy past several days and I have not posted, BUT praise that I am still caught up with the reading and am SO enjoying it!  I am learning so much and feel like I am getting to know the Lord all over again.  It is really amazing.

(*picture taken from google images)

So I think what is really sticking out to me today is something causing me to be in AWE.  Really.  Reading and picturing how these people didn't even see the Lord, did not have Him in them, and how there was fear for Him.  Now, to see how easy it is for us to think we can just brush God off.  These people in Numbers, they disobeyed and told Moses what did he think he was doing trying to control them and God was so upset and He told everyone to get away from these people so He could strike them dead.  Numbers 16

Numbers 16:20-21

²⁰ and the Lord said to Moses and Aaron, ²¹ “Get away from all these people so that I may instantly destroy them!”

So I am just in a quiet mode, listening, trying to wait on the Lord.  I am in such a new area of growth in my walk with the Lord that I am not familiar with, which is a good thing, just unknown.  So now my relying on Him and wanting to know Him is even more.  Struggles come, circumstances are happening, things going on all around me.  So I wait...

More later...love to you :)

Bible in 90 Days-Day 7

Good evening!  Welcome to my journey of walking through God's Word, His love letter to His children, in 90 days.  


Scripture:


¹⁴ You must worship no other gods, for the Lord, whose very name is Jealous, is a God who is jealous about his relationship with you. Exodus 34:14


Observation:


I am, as I go through this journey in my journal, saving a page where I am going to attempt to list all of God's names, or character qualities.  Jealous was the name I saw today that spoke to me.  It makes me feel special that He is jealous for me.  


Application:


I can remember each day that God loves me.  It is so easy for me to not think that, and believe lies that I'm not good enough.  Remember to ask Him often if there are areas in my life that are gods above Him, because He alone is jealous for me and wants me to be committed to Him and nothing else above Him.


Prayer:


Lord help me to remember how much you love me each day, each moment.  Help me Lord to not have any gods other than You, Abba.  Reveal to me if there are any in my heart of life that are not from You and help me to remove what I need to with Your courage, guidance and strength.  In Jesus Name, Amen


Take a listen...let it speak to your heart...its on my heart now...

Bible in 90 days-Day 6 SOAP

Good evening! I am sharing what I learned today. It was different reading on the weekend but we had a rainy day so it made it easier to relax and read. Thanking God for filling me up with His Word and leading me to the Bible in 90 days!


Scripture:



 ⁵ “If an animal is grazing in a field or vineyard and the owner lets it stray into someone else’s field to graze, then the animal’s owner must pay compensation from the best of his own grain or grapes.


Observation:


This is just something that spoke to my heart when reading this and it doesn't seem to fit real well, but I will share it anyways.  When I read this I thought of my children.  I thought if my children are in another persons property and something happens to them, unless that person was responsible for watching my children, I am the one that is responsible for them.  This was a good reminder for me to continue asking the Lord for help in being a good steward of these three gifts of children He has given to my husband and I.

(*picture taken from google images search)

Application:


I need to be more attentive when my children are playing, especially in an area that is not my home, to keep watch on them, be involved with them and be responsible for them each moment, not thinking at any point it will be someone else's responsibility.  


Prayer:

Lord please help me to be responsible and a wonderful steward of the children you have blessed my husband and I with.  Be my strength when I feel my attention span is all over the place, to be focused on them when I need to be.  Guide my children in your path and keep your hand upon them, and help them to fall in love with you at an early age.  In Jesus Name, Amen

Bible in 90 Days-Day 5 SOAP

Good day!  I am refreshed in my soul from reading God's Word today.  Starting through Exodus.  


Scripture:  



¹⁰ Now go, for I am sending you to Pharaoh. You must lead my people Israel out of Egypt.”
 ¹¹ But Moses protested to God, “Who am I to appear before Pharaoh? Who am I to lead the people of Israel out of Egypt?”
 ¹² God answered, “I will be with you. And this is your sign that I am the one who has sent you: When you have brought the people out of Egypt, you will worship God at this very mountain.”



Observation:


 I was a bit shocked when I read this, just because I have heard the stories I have not read them like this before so reading I just expected Moses to say just like Joseph did, and obey and not question.  That didn't happen.  Moses did not want to talk to Pharoah.  He questioned and doubted.  This relieved me and made me realize that God still uses people (again who are not perfect) even when they question and He helps them.  He says I will be with you and He also told him He would give him the words to say.  


Application:


I do not have to beat myself up when the Lord tells me to do something and I question it or doubt the ability for "me" to do it.  I now can remember that when the Lord tells me to do something I can ask for His help and He will help me and I can give Him all of my cares or concerns so He can walk me through it step by step.


Prayer:


Lord thank you for the refreshing cleansing feeling I have being filled with Your Word this week.  Give me endurance and courage to continue reading all the way through and hear all You have for me to learn.  Help me to not beat myself up when You ask me to do something, and help me to rely on You, pour my heart out and give You all of my concerns so that I can let You be leading me step by step and help me trust that you will in each moment.  This story shows me how faithful and strong you are, and I am so encouraged by that.  Thank you I do not have to be perfect or have everything figured out.  I have you and You alone are all I need.  In Jesus Name, Amen


While reading this I was thinking of the movie Prince of Egypt, it was the closest to what I had learned about the story having not read it in the Bible all the way through.  This song always spoke to my heart, take a listen and I pray it speaks to Yours.  God is amazing and I just want to love Him more!!

Bible in 90 Days-Day 4 SOAP

Reading so much in a day I am finding it challenging to pick one scripture that sticks out to me.  I am capturing the one that I feel right now hit me most and then will sum up in my observation the overall picture I felt I learned from the Lord today. ;)

Scripture:


Genesis 41:34
"³⁴ Then Pharaoh should appoint supervisors over the land and let them collect one-fifth of all the crops during the seven good years."  


Observation: (What might He be telling me with this scripture?)

Reading this about how Joseph heard the dream, knew all of these things that were to come, and how he said we need 1/5 of the crops to store up so they would not run out of food for the 7 year famine.  I found that amazing.  I also found that it showed how God was truly leading him.  I tried to picture myself in a similar situation and having to organize all of this, how overwhelming.  But Joseph, he was (or at least seemed to me) to be very composed and just following the lead of whatever the Lord put in front of him or told him to do.  He gives me strength and more trust in the Lord just reading all about him.  


Application: (How can I apply it to my life?)


Just trust in the Lord. The thought that comes to my mind right now is trust and obey.  Or as Charles Stanley says, "Obey God and leave all the consequences to Him."  Daily I can remember this.


Prayer:  (What is my prayer to ask God in helping me to make that application?)


Lord I ask for your strength and I ask for more faith and ability to trust you.  In each moment through the day, to rest in You, to just hear Your sweet gentle voice whispering to me and to follow you all day long.  To not question you or think I can do something on my own, but to trust you, Lord, and to trust and obey or to obey you Lord and leave all the consequences to You.  You alone are all I need and I pray as I read Your love letter to me and also as others read, that you would help us fall head over heels in love with you more every day and that you would shine through us and our love for you will just glow to all who are around us.  I Love you Lord, thank you for this day and for your protection and peace as it was a challenging day.  Praise the Lord, Abba! In Jesus Name, Amen


This song below is on my heart, amazing, and I can picture Joseph singing it and I want to sing it in my heart and live it.  


More later...Love to you!

Day 3

Yesterday I did not have a scripture that stuck out to me clearly.  I did take a lot of notes.  Really what I was getting yesterday was seeing how "imperfect" people were back then and how much God used them.  I am a perfectionist and with God's help I am learning NOT to be.  So seeing how the people made mistakes and had things wrong in their life helped me to really trust God to help me.  I was thankful for that.

(*picture from google images)

This song comes to mind when I think of perfection and not having to be perfect.  Have a great day!  More later..Love to you!

Bible in 90 days-Day 2 SOAP

Hello!  I am thankful for day 2, thankful for God's grace and help in this and His refreshing my heart and soul while I read His Word.  Soaking in it

While reading today several things were sticking out to me.  The first being how Abraham and Lot heard the Lord's voice or angels voice, they immediately bowed to the ground.  That to me really showed reverential fear of the Lord and humble spirits.  Sensitive to Him.  I also noticed several times Abraham had people over and he mentioned washing their feet or getting them water to wash their feet.  Humble, gentle, kind.  Servants heart.  These things spoke to my heart.

Scripture:

Genesis 17:3
"At this, Abram fell face down on the ground. Then God said to him,"

Observation:

When the Lord spoke to Abraham he fell face down on the ground. This helps me to see the reverential fear he had for the Lord and his humble heart.

Application:

When I hear the Lord and His still small voice speaking to me I far too often walk past it. I don't listen. That has stolen my joy and kept me guessing what the Lord told me. I wander.

Prayer:

Lord I am thirsty for your Word and for you alone. I ask forgiveness for not listening so often and running past you. Give me courage to be still, listen and bow at your feet daily so that I don't miss anything you want me to hear or see and that I walk closer to you. Help me be strong and desire to be vulnerable each day learning to be authentic. Guide each person reading this and help them to hear what you have for their hearts. In Jesus Name, amen

More later...Love to you...
Kim

Bible in 90 Days-Day 1 SOAP

Learning a great way to study the Bible on my own in SOAP format.  I learned about it more reading this.


So my SOAP for todays reading was this:


Scripture:  
Genesis 3:16 ¹⁶ Then he said to the woman,
   “I will sharpen the pain of your pregnancy,
      and in pain you will give birth.
   And you will desire to control your husband,
      but he will rule over you.^[c]”


Observation: (What might He be telling me with this scripture?)
I will desire to control my husband, but I really should let Him lead and should be quiet and submit to Him more lovingly.  When I try to take control it does nothing and really it makes it even worse because I am forcing something that isn't natural, but when I let Him lead and I let go of control more, wow the peace I feel.  


Application-(How can I apply it to my life?)
I can start my day giving up control to the Lord.  I can ask Him to help me be more observant in moments when He wants me to listen, and not control.  He has plans and ideas for me and if I listen, I will reap a lot of benefits and peace from it.


Prayer-(What is my prayer to ask God in helping me to make that application?)
Lord, I need you.  I have seen lately how often I try and try to control and when I stop, sit back and observe the big picture, the one YOU are in control of, I would be silly to think I am controlling something or making something happen or causing peace or order.  You are the God of order and I ask for help in this area.  I ask for help in listening to my husband and let Him lead our family in ways that I can't.  Please give me a meek spirit, an ability to be quiet, and lovingly listen and serve and speak up when you say and not try and take over.  Help me rest in You, Lord.  Help me fall in love with you more every day during this journey of 90 Days in and through Your Word.  I am nothing without You and I can do nothing without You.  Use my words to encourage others and let them be Your Words :).  I need You.  In Jesus Name, Amen

Bible in 90 Days...refresh me!

I had a weekend away with my kids and family to visit my sister and went to the mountains for the first time in my adult life (I'm from the beach).  It was a neat experience.  I am back now and refreshed ready to enjoy the rest of the summer.  While I was gone I signed up for reading the Bible in 90 Days here.  I am very excited and nervous.  My "one word" for 2011 was REFRESH.  I did not want to be joining all kinds of Bible studies and activities but wanted to refresh my relationship with the Lord.  I feel I was led to start it, and hope I heard right and will be blessed and taught by this journey.  What better way to be refreshed in Him than to read His Word daily, and really soak it in.

He is teaching me something and I am looking forward to what all He wants me to learn.  Today was day 1.  It will go through, I believe, October 8th.  I will, and am writing it here for a reminder, not going to join into any Bible studies (although I know I will be very tempted to because I am a social girl and love joining them and fellowshipping and all that great stuff that goes along with Bible studies).  I will only be spending time in God's Word with my journal and a pen and also joining for the first time, MOPS.  Much looking forward to that, and it is nothing in depth but time for moms and I am excited for that.

So thats what is going on with me right now.  God is doing a new thing.  I will write more later...

Love to you!
Kim

Goals

I kind of feel the past few days I let myself go.  Because the end of my mini-goal had come, I thought ok now what?  The results of my mini-goal...I lost 4 pounds and got into a size 14.  I will continue pressing on.  In the meantime as I ponder and pray what my next mini goal will be, I continue with 52 pounds in a year, which means I continue one pound a week goal.  I have established an exercise habit for the most part, walking 1-1.5 miles most evenings usually with my kids, and if not then it is a walk with the Lord just talking and praying and enjoying that quiet time.  I also do T-Tapp DVD exercises 3 days a week and sometimes get to the gym for a class or two.  The point was to just make it balanced, something I enjoyed and not a major focus that would overwhelm me.

My scripture for the week is Romans 8:1-2 "¹ Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, ² because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit who gives life has set you^[a] free from the law of sin and death."

I believe the greatest trick of the devil is not to get us into some sort of evil but rather have us wasting time. This is why to devil tries so hard to get Chritians to be religious. If he can sink a man's mind into habit, he will prevent his heart from engaging God. (Donald Miller-Blue Like Jazz)

A friend posted this on Facebook and it hit me in a strange way. Something I have been pondering lately is how much knowledge I have, hence all the reading I talked about in my last post, but how much of it is getting to my heart.

I am on to something the Lord is trying to teach me. I will continue to be still to be refreshed in the Lord and find how He will help me not have so much head knowledge but be authentic, and have it all in my heart. I pray now Lord you will help me now not be distracted any longer by the enemy or my own bad choices that are causing religion or habits that are useless in my heart and life. Where do I go from here? In Jesus Name, Amen

Be still and know that I am God.

Love to you! More later...

Wait!!

Wait on the Lord.


I grab so often for things, like if I don't grab and look for it then I will not hear the Lord.  I seem to grab so much so often that I don't even really know for sure if I am hearing Him or not.  I have to remember one thing and remember it clearly forever, I am not God and I am not God of my life....He is perfectly capable of being my God and I am not.

*(picture from google image search)

The things I grab for are all good.  A new Christian book talking about testimonies, talking about the ways of the Lord, life with the Lord, things important to the Lord.  Christian music constantly.  I love Christian blogs and formats and schedules of how to do things in life as a wife and mother and homekeeper.  Womens Bible study at church.  I ask myself what am I looking for.  What if these things I am grabbing for are the only things that are keeping me from actually listening to the Lord?  Busy mind, nonstop, need to wait on the Lord.  What would my heart and life be like right now if I just waited on God, spent time on my knees and with His Word alone.  All of the things I listed above are good, and He would use them to counsel and guide me as He felt led, but only then, not when I am grabbing looking, searching for answers when I have not sat as His feet long enough to listen to what HE is saying to me first and through His Word.  


I have been watching a show lately that is speaking to my heart, Make it or Break It...and it is elite gymnasts training for the olympics.  The more that I watch it the more I feel the Lord showing me how life is like a race, training for things, keeping focus, not losing focus, obeying the coach when he knows what is best for the athletes life and has his best interest at heart.  I thought wow, I recall there are scriptures that talk about the race, running it, keeping eyes fixed on Jesus, run for the prize, run to win, etc.


I looked up several just doing a search on race in my Bible app on my phone.  There are many.  So right now I wait, I be quiet, and I start to learn about this new life I am in, new life as a child of the Lord, and learn to keep my eyes fixed on Him in this race called life, throwing off all that hinders me.  


Hebrews 12:1 (NIV) Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us.


What has the Lord been teaching you lately?  


*Update on my Reshaping it All goal, I have until Sunday the 26th.  I have been walking most evenings 1-1.5 miles and doing T-Tapp DVD exercises and also have gone and done a few classes at my gym.  Moderation and not excessive focus and doing things I enjoy.  I have continued fasting my middle of the day meal each day, eating some snacks most days usually around 2pm and some days I have gone overboard, but I get right back on track with God's help.  He is working in me and teaching me to sew to my Spirit and not the flesh, and showing me how the Spirit and the flesh are constantly at war...Galatians 5:16-26.  I learned a lot the past week or two from studying and understanding some of the fruits of the Spirit and what are NOT the fruits of the Spirit.  Also seeing how this really is not about the weight at all but about my heart.  I have lost 3 1/2 pounds and got down to size 14.  That is not my focus but just a reward for learning to keep my eyes fixed on Jesus :)


More later...love to you!

Tip of the Iceberg

Thank you for stopping by! I spent a week away from the Internet and email and what I learned in that time is that I have a lot of decluttering to do, and mostly in my mind. I feel I have not even gotten past the tip of the iceberg and have so far to go in my walk wih the Lord.

It was an eye opener to see how I cluttered my mind with many many things on the Internet, all great things, but not the best for me. Many Christian blogs, Bible studies, kind words on Facebook, and these things as good as they are, were something to keep me moving and keeping me from being still. I see now how much more I need to be still and I also see how it will not be comfortable, I see I will have trials that I can't run from. But if I want to fully surrender to the Lord and let Him teach me and refine me, it's what I must do. And I think doing it joyfully just working on praising God through it all, because after all...He IS on my side. I also learned that I need to let God love me and I saw how I have a root in my heart or a lie that I believed for so long that says I am not good enough and that I am not worthy of love and one minute of me rushing past His call to be still and I miss the truth. I am so special and so deeply unconditionally loved.

More later...share your thoughts and what things the Lord may be teaching you lately. Can you relate to any of these things?

A week off :)

I will be taking a week off of the computer and phone/internet to spend time with my family and balance out my priorities.  I will be back posting starting again next Wednesday, June 15th.  Be blessed this week and keep seeking God and resting in Him...the perfect dwelling place!  Love to you :)

Persevere

I just want to encourage anyone reading to never give up.  Persevere.  No matter how deep of a pit you feel like you are in, God will bring you out, just look up and cling to Him.  He is doing things in my life now and I am loving just resting in His grace alone.  He is all I need.

I have been meditating on this scripture and I may keep on doing that another week or longer as long as I need, and it is working its way into my heart and daily life.

Galatians 5:16 Walk by the Spirit and you will not gratify the desires of your flesh.

Today I was breaking it up thinking ok, walk.  Walk means I do that all through the day, walking through my thoughts, my actions, my chores, my conversations, etc.  And to do it by the Spirit, who lives in me, who walks with me, who never leaves me, who wants to be my best friend, who is my constant companion, who is the ultimate counselor and the list goes on, how lucky I am!  (we are!) Gratify.  I will not gratify.  I will not do, I will not chase, I will not run after, I will not satisfy.  the Desires.  Things that I could lust after.  Things I run after.  Things I focus excessively on.  my flesh.  My little toddler in me that wants it her way, now and whatever I want I want it, opposite of the Spirit.  So I thought ok, breaking it down and thinking on this constantly, renewing my mind with this scripture, is truth.  I will continue dwelling on it.

More later...love to you!

Today

Today was the day that I allowed myself a treat, once a week.  I enjoyed it, not like I used to, and it left me just wanting more and more and it is not the best feeling.  I think my resistance muscle is stronger now and the Lord is teaching me to lean on Him and realize good choices before just grabbing and running ahead.  I am glad for that.  I am about to go and take a walk because I feel I could just grab more food.  I am avoiding the kitchen right now and chugging a lot of water.  Oh I just realized I need to be praying some scripture or looking up to fill up on the Lord, this will help indeed!!!

I am for the moment using a tool of in a journal writing what I eat each day.  That is helpful to look back at, but honestly thats not what is helping me.  What is helping me is to feed my Spirit and its changing me within, and helping me not to give into my fleshly desires.  There is that scripture I am reminded of...

Galatians 5:16 "So I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh."

That is the key I am learning and I feel I do not have to look past that.  Thats where I need to be right now, walking by the Spirit.  I always thought there was more I needed to figure out, but feeling now that is a lie and I need to just walk by the Spirit more each moment.  Period, no more analyzing or figuring out, rely on God for His wisdom and understanding.  Proverbs 3:5

Thinking of posting some before pics and maybe some after pictures, but will see if that is what the Lord wants in this journey.  Maybe just heart stuff....

More later!  Love to you :)

Be Still

Thinking on practicing Gods presence the verse comes to mind...be still and know that I am God. Be still. That has been a challenge for me. Being still helps me to recognize the Holy Spirit leading me. Being still helps me to not grab at the first thing my flesh wants, but helps me acknowledge God and ask Him what He wants in that situation. Oh a big one, being still helps me to not miss God and have to go back and fix a whole lot of things because I ran by Him and did what I want.

That's what's on my mind right now. Be still.

I Really Am That Big?!

So yes, I have 50 pounds to release never to see again.  I have seen it go before.  I am at this now in this 65 days of Reshaping it All and always with Thin Within.  Its in my head.  I have been doing well for a week.  I am seeing now how much I REALLY have to change my focus, permanently!  New thoughts and focuses forever.  Its the scripture:


Romans 12:1-2 ....

1 Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship. 2 Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will. 


I saw a picture of myself from today and I was in shock.  I was feeling thinner from exercising and eating less and better choice foods, and then I saw the picture and thought, "WOW, I really am that big!?"


Why is it that I think I'm not that big.  I honestly don't feel as big as I look, but what a trick of the mind that is.  SO pray for me if it comes to your mind throughout your days.  I need prayer, I need my mind renewed so I am forever changed and free.  I will never give up!  Even if I fall down and get discouraged, my hope is in Jesus and I am never giving up!  One choice at a time!


Lord help me see what you see and think like you think.  Help me to make one right choice for You at a time and never give up.  In Jesus name I trust and pray, Amen!

31 Days to Clean

So I am on day....22 of the 31 day e-book.  I am really enjoying it and when I wake up I look forward to just reading the days reading (Mon-Fri) and I get a little nugget of wisdom and truth each day, its really nice.  I have not been able to keep up with all of the Martha tasks but I have been doing other cleaning and home managing routines I have learned over the years so that is taking the place of that. The part I am really getting ministered to with is the Mary challenges. It touches on so many areas of life that us moms and wives deal with in our walk with God and helps explain it in simple but deep type ways. I can't wait to see how many things have changed in our home when it's over. Not me changing it myself that's for sure...God is helping me know what to do when otherwise I would be doing it all and not getting anything but overwhelmed and unfocused.

So far things I have gleamed from it are:

• Making a list each night or morning for that day of things I want to get or need to get accomplished.  Keeps me more focused and purposeful through the day.  Making a home cleaning routine has helped me, a revamped one where I put a list on my fridge of the things that need to get done and I got a lot also from iheartorganizing.blogspot.com.  I got my list from her and she personalized it for me for $3 and I got it laminated for 1.50 at Office Depot and have dry erase marker with magnet next to it...it makes it simple and clear to see so I don't have to go look at my phone or some other list.
• About the curse on the home or work at the home, that is talked about in Genesis how its all unproductive work, and is never complete.  Then to realize that and start learning how to clean and keep my home joyfully as unto the Lord because its got to be done and its not going away.  Better outlook here I was refreshed with.
• Making a schedule for the day so that you learn what you are doing with your time.  She gave a site where I got an ebook called "Tell Your Time" and this helps in 30 pages to really get to the core of your time and organizing it, easily.  I am halfway through that and already see it will be nice when I complete it.  I see I waste a lot of time procrastinating and also on the computer, although looking at Christian blogs and reading Christian books, etc, its too much and I am working on letting go of that some and having balance as God leads.

There is much more I hope to share on this but this is what is on my heart at the moment.

Take a listen to this, its life! :)

(I know this is not the original singer but this girl just ministered to my heart and I thought she was a sweetheart!)

Where do you struggle in the home? Have you found any resources or books or things that help with keeping the home and doing it joyfully so its not a burden?  Do share!

More later...love to you!

Kim