Journaling it All

It's been a while since I've written.  I have had a favorite thing I have been doing lately that I wanted to write about a little.  I have been in a busy season of life with children getting older and work and family life and it seems I have been looking for ways to connect with God and refresh and renew my mind.  I love journaling and have a journal I used to write in daily but now it's more like a few times a week or every other week.

So what I started lately is grabbing my laptop when I get in bed each evening, opening Google Drive and I created a journal that I use when I don't have my paper journal.  Writing down thoughts and prayers and emotions and Scripture is so a thing for me.

I write out all that's on my mind, I call it my brain dump.  I type it all out and pray and share all I am thinking, all I've learned that day, things bothering me, etc.  Then I pray and ask God to show me any Truths that I need to hear from what I've written.  This has been a little treat I have done lately that is really helping me have more peace and clarity and I would just say journaling is something that everyone should try if they haven't.

More later...

Jesus Alone

Cutting potatoes tonight getting ready to make some yummy mashed potatoes I had these subtle thoughts going through my mind.  You know how in all the letters to the churches there is a reason they are writing the letter?  And some of them are because the Christians had started listening to false teaching.  They were listening and going ways God didn't mean for them to go.  I've done that before.

I felt like God wants me to write about the Gospel Truth, the simple Gospel Truth that is Jesus.  The Way, the Truth and the Life.  Just Jesus.  Nothing added to Him at all.

More later...

Am I Ditching the Snooze Button?!

I can't believe it is already February now!  2015 is off to a start now, and it's exciting.  I've been working on something lately that has been a struggle for me, well...since I was a kid.  See I have this thing with the snooze button.  I don't know why I think hitting it every 8 minutes or so for over an hour is any help to me at ALL!  LOL!

Enter a few years ago, Kat with Inspired to Action that started the Hello Mornings Challenge and I signed up.  I have off and on been in a Hello Mornings Challenge group for over 2 years.  It has definitely changed me and challenged me.  So now the challenge is ditching the snooze button.

I read this article last week and it really hit me like I need to seriously try this.  I've tried ditching it before with no luck.  But this time for some reason felt different.  So I did it.  Well wait, first let me share the article and the tip that stuck to me.  It was this article and then tip #9 that was for me.  It was time to see if this could really happen.  Ditching the snooze never to go back...that's the idea.

So this was the quote that was talking straight to me from this blog post at the Hello Mornings Challenge blog:

"To be sure I am clear here, when I say ditch the snooze, I mean it.

No more snoozing. Disable it! 

When that alarm goes off you need to make the decision to get up, or not.

If you feel you are truly exhausted and need the extra sleep, set your alarm for a half hour later, or however long you need to sleep. No use interrupting that extra needed sleep every 9 minutes with the snooze alarm." 

It was right then and there that I picked up my iPhone and disabled the snooze.  I set it for the time I want to get up...5:30am...and then I sent another alarm for the time I HAD to get up...6:30am.  So for the last week I have done this.  I feel very much well rested from not hitting snooze every 8 minutes for an hour, that alone seems to be something that would make anyone just plain exhausted!  I have only gotten up at the first alarm maybe once, but that is HUGE to me.

So now that is the goal.  To eventually make that 2 days a week for a while and then 3 to where eventually it's a 5:30am routine and I enjoy it.  I am excited for this new little revelation in my mornings and am looking forward to seeing this progress.  Stay tuned...

More later...

My One Word 2015

Happy New Year!  Last year I wrote a blog post sharing what my one word was for 2014, and you can read that here if you would like.  I thought about this word off and on throughout 2014.  I am not sure I did much to make it happen, and I hesitated on whether I would have a one word for 2015.  I really thought when the New Year rang in that I was not going to have one.

Then I saw someone talking about it yesterday and immediately the word popped in my head that is going to be my "one word" for 2015.  

Joy.

Then the song below comes to my heart just now and I just want to sing!  I want JOY in me and my heart and in my family and their hearts more and more every day!  Here's to a joyful 2015!

Too cute!! 

More later...

Afraid to Step Out

Have you ever felt the nudge or the prompting to do something, but instead of stepping out and doing what it is you feel led to do, you stop and in fear you are paralyzed?  You can't move forward a step because all of the what if's?

What if I fail?
What if I don't do it right?
What if I don't know what to do and get confused?
What will it look like living each day if I do that and take that step?
What if I lose things I don't want to lose when taking that step?

The questions and what if's go on and on.  I find myself in that situation it seems lately.  The thing that I am wondering though is what am I missing out on while I am scared stiffless??????  How much am I going to regret the wasted time I spent sitting here paralyzed instead of just stepping out in obedience.

So I take the step.  I write the first blog post in months.  Where will this lead?  How will I know exactly what to do to do it all right?  I don't know.  But I know I don't want to stand still any longer.  Jesus take the wheel.

More later...

I'm Still Here

It's been a long time since I posted here.  It has been a crazy few years and a lot feels like a blur.  Mostly I am thinking it feels like a blur is because I've been trying to rush by it all.  I keep getting the thoughts to hurry up and do this and get it done and then hurry up and do that and get it done.  Then when all is done I can relax.

See that isn't how it works and I am learning this.  I have been a hurry up kind of girl all my life.  But God is starting to reteach me (again because He has shown me this before) to slow down.  To enjoy moments, to enjoy the day, to obey His Holy Spirit throughout each day.  That is how to live, not rushing here and there and hurry up this and hurry up that.

I do wonder how much I have missed along the way by rushing through life.  It creates fear too, and worry, which does NO good at all.

So I am now reminded of my one word for 2014, and I still have a month and a half to be refreshed by this...

UNWIND.

That is my one word.  He told me to unwind.  It's like I have wound myself up so much like a wind up toy and I need to now unravel it all and REST.  Sit.  Relax in Him.  Let Him work.  Stop hurrying.

Do you need to stop hurrying to finish out 2014?  Would you join me in unwinding and relaxing in Him?  What is He teaching you lately?

Miss My Blogger

So hey there it's been a while since I've written.  I have missed it here lots.  I had read and heard so many things when reading about blogging about using Wordpress to make things better.  That if you want to have a great blog that's the place to be.   So I went that route and started a wordpress blog and I'm just finding myself stuck.  I am finding myself thinking I have to figure out how it works before I can share my heart and write like crazy.  Crazy right?

So here I am.  My home blog where my blogging journey started and I love blogger.  If you want to see where I started my other blog you can check it out by clicking here. 

So what have I been up to?  I have been up to lots of stuff.  One thing is that I am working out my one word for 2014 and that is Unwind.  I am wanting to unwind as God has shown me and let go of control and unwind and relax and not be so uptight.  But relax in Him and learn how to walk by the Holy Spirit who lives in me even better.

As far as eating goes.  I have maintained my size and weight, but am at my highest weight ever while not being pregnant (which is crazy!).  I have started a Bible study through Thin Within workbook 2 and am going to go through that with some friends online.  I am also reading here and there my favorite, Truly Fed, book. 

I celebrated 2 years gluten free in March.  I can't believe it's been that long.  I have learned so much and have more I can share about that in days to come.  It has been an interesting journey.

Have a wonderful rest of your weekend!!

More later...

My One Word 2014.



Stopping When Full

Here we are about to go into a new year, 2014.  There will be a Thin Within online Bible study starting in January that I am a part of and I am excited and nervous.  You see, God has called me to listen to Him in how I care for my body, and only for my good, but I am such a stubborn resister.  I do not like this about me, but it's true.  So I keep telling God help me, I am willing, but I don't want to and need you to help me. 

I seem to be fine with staying occupied most of the time and not over focusing on food and waiting for hunger, as He is setting me free in this area.  But...when it comes time and I feel that nudge when I start to eat and it says--that's it, you are satisfied, your body does not need any more food.....that is when I dig in my feet and drown out the still small voice. 

Stop when you are satisfied.
I used to say, I would rather throw away food in the trash than throw it away in my body.
It has been recently I am seeing again how I use food to ground me and keep my from feeling chaos.
Chaos of life.
I need to stop when satisfied. 
I need to slow down.
I need Jesus' help.
I need to make the choice that I am willing.
Sit back and rest in Him.

More later...

Walking it Out-November 2013

I am walking it out, this Thin Within journey.  This intuitive eating journey.  It is so much easier said than done, that is for sure.  As many times as I walk away thinking I will forget it or just ignore it because it is too hard, I always end up back here.  One thing is for sure though, I definitely do not go back to the dieting phase.  I think that bridge is burned.  Wow, can you say freedom?  The thing is though, when I am not allowing myself to listen to my body for its hunger cues, I am not doing anything.  I don't go back to dieting mentality as much, I just eat what I want when I want, with no boundaries or any regards to what my body is saying.  I kind of just listen to my mind, my flesh, and this is dangerous to my Spiritual life as well as my physical life (health). 

I am getting back up though.  I took a few years of what I thought was totally ignoring it, but really it wasn't ignoring it.  I am seeing how I was doing groundwork.  I have been laying some foundation that will be forever firm.  It may not have gone the way that I wanted it to, but it surely is working.  God does not work in the ways that our human minds do.  I can have one thing in mind of how my eating and weight and body image is going to work out, and it ends up being worked out so differently. 

For instance, I can think, I will just eat when I am hungry and stop when I am full, then I will be forever free.  But God says, no really you have some heart work to deal with and you may actually gain some weight before losing it, but it will be permanent loss this time.  You need to deal with your stinky attitude, you need to deal with some patience issues that are tripping you up, and you definitely need to work out this controlling issue that you have going on because if I am not God in your life Kim, you are, and that is just not my best for you.

So there you have it in my walking it out journey.  I continue on it.  I have maintained my weight for several months and do not obsess about my weight.  But when I do get on the scale it can tend to mess with my emotions for a few days and it shows in my eating.  I feel that I am about to turn into a new direction where weight release is going to start happening again.  I have recently started studying the next workbook from Thin Within that I have not gone through yet, it is found here in all these awesome tools that my eyes are being opened to again after a couple of years of not being involved with Thin Within (only because I was turning it into a diet).  But God has done a work in me and continues and I am thankful for that on this Thanksgiving week.

More later...be blessed!

Do You Know the Feeling?

That of feeling the need to explain everything to everyone?  DO you know what that feels like?  It's like sometimes if I don't explain everything to everyone then I need to keep trying.  I can't keep living and enjoying my life if all people around me do not understand everything I am thinking and doing and understand why I am doing it.  Craziness.

People pleasing?  Yes.  I struggle with that.  Sometimes I find myself so stuck because of this.  I will keep asking myself, "what in the world is wrong with me?"  It is because I will say I can't move on until I figure this out or that out.

I can't believe it is taking this long for me to learn this.  But it is and that is okay.  I will continue pressing on and remembering that I only need to live for an audience of one, and the only person that I need to focus on pleasing is Jesus.  Then everything else will fall into place.

More later.....

Working at Home and My Passion

I am feeling so drawn to writing and blogging but have all of these questions.  I pray I get the right answers or understand them as God wants me to.

I want my families support and feel I won't know how to explain these feelings to them.

I am so craving pouring into my family.  Not working full time outside the home.  Is that bad to share?  It is my honest thoughts though I know right now the last year and a half I am in a full time outside the home working position.  It is where God has me in the moment, but I can't help but feel that I know I can and should be working out of my home. Maybe it's not writing, but it is something I believe.

I am craving being home with my family.  Getting them up and enjoying mornings with them before school.  Spending a day in cozy clothes, with my computer, and my keyboard and typing away.  Sharing my heart.  Going where God leads me in the writing and working at home scene. 

Pray for me if you read this, that God will be all over it and guide the way.  And that I will take the steps as He leads and have the courage to, because honestly I feel like perhaps I have missed steps He told me to take because I was afraid and not trusting or having enough faith.  Lord please help me see clearly your will and have the courage to step out when you say and I pray I will have the confirmation with my support of my family at home behind me.  I also pray Lord that I will not be lazy, and I will continue to get better and better at working for you in all I do every day, no matter where I am.  Help me to see when I become idle for the wrong reasons and to get refocused on what you want me focused on.  I pray that you will keep changing my heart.  You are the redeemer and I am so thankful.  I can't change myself, I have tried and keep trying.  Help me fall into you and let you lead it all.  That is the cry of my heart.  Thank you for listening.  In Jesus Name, Amen

I need Jesus.  I need clarity.  I am asking for it. 

James 4:2-3 says, "You desire but you do not have, so you kill.  You covet but you cannot get what you want, so you quarrel and fight.  You do not have because you do not ask God.  When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures."

Let my prayer be asking you God.  Let it not be my own pleasure, but yours.  Let my will be yours.  Let my desires line up with yours.  That is my prayer.  In Jesus Name, Amen

More later...
 

Am I the Same Me at Home?

I read a great blog article yesterday.  It was about reasons to quit blogging.  She spoke about what it would take for her to quit blogging.  I read this blog post here at a sweet blog I found today.  One of the reasons she gave was if she seemed like a separate person on her blog than she was in her real life at home-she would quit.  This was convicting, but refreshing all at the same time for me.

If it was refreshing it is because I don’t have to be someone else at my blog.  I can jabber on and be myself.  It was convicting because if I ever catch myself writing here on my blog and picture what my husband or children may think if they read it…and ask myself if they would believe I was being honest and myself….that is the true test for me.  They say that you are the real you behind closed doors at your home.  So if I am the same person here at my blog and at my work and at church and with my friends and at home, I am on the right track.

The problem is…I don’t always feel this way.  Sometimes I feel like what I talk about on my blog are things that my fam doesn’t want to hear about.  But sometimes perhaps it is me hiding from some attitudes and heart issues that I should address, but would rather talk other stuff.

Those are my thoughts.  Thinking on this.

3 Year Bible Reading Plan

In hopes to find something I could be consistent in when reading my Bible and learning all about the Word of God, I was struggling.  I was getting overwhelmed and feeling scattered.  I would start a reading plan and go a week or two, almost like the old dieting days, and then I would stop when I got behind.  I would start a Bible study and usually finish it, but then felt like I didn't know what to read next.  I would read some of the Bible, but didn't feel as connected or like I was learning well.  I wanted to try something new and different so I prayed and started looking for some ideas.  I remember a blogger friend I know said how she would read one chapter a day and it was not too much or too little.  It was just the right amount of reading.  So I started looking for a reading plan or something that I could do that would help me get through the whole Bible, but reading about one chapter per day.

I found this website when reading and downloaded the app from that site here. 



I started this in May, so going on 5 months of this reading plan.  I am really liking it.  It isn't beginning to end, it jumps around some and on Sundays it is always a Psalm.  So far this is working and I am really enjoying it.  

What do you think?  Check it out and see if this is something that may help you be consistent.  It may take 3 years to get through the whole Bible, but I will feel like I really absorbed it.  I have read the Bible in 90 days before, but there was not a lot of time for reflection.  This...I can do and I like lots!

More later...

Back to God's Perspective

Wrapped up in order and control in my own life, in so many areas, that I lost the perspective of God.  I got me focused and I got overwhelmed and much less peace.  It is so refreshing to remember now that if I commit everything to God and keep Him first, He takes care of all of my needs.  It isn't something logical that I need to figure out.  It is God.  Amen!

More later...

My Life IS God's

I share about bringing God back into my all but what if I have all along and was deceived by doubt making me feel like I'm not worthy and I haven't really brought Him all in?  Well I have and he is, like, forever.  I cannot doubt that I am His because I know that I am. 

Having a health coach really doesn't mean that I am relying on the person to help me or fix me (though I try to rely on the person, but God reminds me it doesn't work that way), but what she does is point me back to God over and over and help me work to see what it is He is teaching me and she redirects me in the way I set out to go, His way for me.  One thing that she is teaching me and what I am learning through the renewing the mind Bible study from her website, is that my thoughts are playing a big role, if not THE biggest role in this whole journey with eating and in life struggles.

Romans 12:2 says "Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect."

One question posed when I read the study yesterday was this, what are you thinking right before you break your boundaries.  Whatever goals you have for yourself, what is it that you are doing right before you decide to give up and not follow through?

My first answer was Question and Doubt!  (or rationalize)

So I am working on writing out the truths of what I am thinking before I decide to give up.  I want to change my thoughts and as His Word says, be transformed by the renewing of my mind.

More later!

Don't Forget-What it Means to be Weak

God uses my weaknesses. It's not that I have to be ashamed of all these weaknesses, but those weaknesses are the reason God can use me!

So I was reminded when glancing at a post by Joseph Prince last week how God uses our weaknesses. So instead of being ashamed of my weaknesses and trying to hide them or instead of trying to develop a plan to fix my weaknesses and work so hard trying to make them NOT be my weaknesses anymore...God made me just the way I am and He wants to use me even my weaknesses.

It's in my weakness that He is strong. So if I feel shy sometimes and not bold enough or strong enough to share truths as He wants me to---I need not worry.

No More Questioning...But Faith

I found the below blog post that I started and never finished in 2012--posting it now because it is good words for me to read:

I don't have to question anymore.  I can sit still and just circle in my minds questions and things and boy my mind goes to analyzing and trying to figure out SOOOO much!!!  You would go crazy in my head ha!  But what I am learning in this "living" I am working on in 2012 is that I don't have to question things anymore...what I do need to do is step out in faith one step at a time.  He gives me the direction and for a long time I have sat back and analyzed every part of it and then if I didn't seem to like it, then I would move on to something else.

I can't imagine the bucket list of things the Lord has given me that I have sat back and analyzed, doubted and not acted in faith on.  It is sad to say because I know I've missed out on living and missed out on things that God had planned for me, His beloved.

Good Morning-Be Still and Know

What the Lord has been teaching me I feel, lately, is to slow down, be still.  You remember that scripture:

Psalm 46:10a Be still, and know that I am God!

It seems all of the things lately that I "think" are problems or things I should work on lately are just sort of fabricated things my mind created to focus on instead of the Lord.  If I be still and listen to God, He calms my thoughts and my mind.  I feel like I have spiritual ADD.  Working on practicing His presence and just being still, oh how hard that is for me but I will press on and that will change by His grace.  If I rush I have been told I will miss so much.

I found this song just while googling, going to listen to it now.  I will paste the lyrics below it, maybe it will minister to someone's heart today.

Testimony Tuesday

God speaks to our hearts just what we need to hear when we are willing to listen, and sometimes even when we are not.  I love Him and He loves us.

Ecclesiastes 4:6

This is also related to my weight and body journey I have been on.  God has shown me a Scripture so clearly I couldn't miss it.  This will be the 3rd Scripture that God has put clearly in front of me to help me in my journey to learn how He wants me to eat.  He has also shown me a little nugget about praying before I eat-and praying with faith, not just saying a prayer to say a prayer.

Ecclesiastes 4:6 spoke so clearly to my heart in the struggle I was feeling lately regarding food struggles and my weight.

NLT Ecclesiastes 4:6 says this:

And yet, "Better to have one handful with quietness than two handfuls with hard work and chasing the wind."

I have been focusing on what I can do (and NOT be uncomfortable) to lose the weight.  Or really I have been thinking and not really realizing it, what can I do to not change from the inside but take the easy way out?

So this is what I would say is the clear 3rd Word God had shown me in eating. I can't grasp for more or try to understand more than what He has already put under my nose.  I will be mindful with His help to have one handful of food when I am hungry and have quietness and peace instead of grabbing more and having two handfuls and then trying to work harder to lose the weight-getting nowhere-like chasing the wind.

Thank you Lord for speaking to my heart in my struggle with eating, but I want to break through and want to press on to the goal which you have for me, and that is total freedom and I know you are working.  Touch our hearts all who read this and speak to us in what you would want us to learn in this.  You are wonderful and an awesome daddy.  In Jesus Name, Amen