Friday, November 26, 2010

My apologies...



I am new to blogging and I just realized about 5 minutes ago that people commented on my blog!  Praise God for this awesome encouragement!  Thank you all for praying and sharing with me, I look forward to walking with God and lifting each other up!


Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Freedom...seeking His face

I went out of town for 4 days and am getting caught up at home.  While away I went to a Joyce Meyer conference and my spirit and soul have been refreshed in the Lord!  So much so that a lot of clutter started to be removed and I am now in the process of continuing that process until it is as the Lord would have it.  The main thing, although I got a lot out of this conference and time away, was to seek HIS face.  One of the things that stuck with me is something Joyce said..."seek His face not his hand, when you seek His face his hand will always be there."


So while I do not have a lot to share other than that at this time, that is huge and will effect all areas of my life.  I am desiring a closer walk with God and a more intimate relationship.  I am looking forward to what fruits this new lesson I am learning will produce in my life, and in those around me.  I pray God is glorified all the more.


Matthew 6:33 "But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well." (NIV)


While I know this song is not a Christian song, the Lord has used it to just make me smile and know that I will always be his and that keeps joy and a song in my heart!





p.s. I will also share that I started listening to this and felt freedom come and legalism start stripping off of me even more Eat Thin Stay Thin-Joyce Meyer

Thursday, November 11, 2010

Simplify

After struggling for 6 days with out of control feelings and eating the Lord spoke to me through two Godly women that encouraged me today and I am very refreshed.  One big word that was said to me was "simplify."  That is what I am doing.

I have been overthinking things in every area of my life instead of resting in Him, instead of walking in the Spirit I have been walking in the flesh and letting every emotion and thought just take me away.  So realizing no pride here, I can't do it myself, but I am comitting to something my friend from Thin Within wrote to me today in response to a post I had on the forum:  "When you commit to take care of your body, rather than abuse your body to 'take care' of your emotions, your body will tell you when to eat, what to eat and when to stop eating."


I am going to be "chewing" on what I have heard today through just small conversations that spoke straight to me.  Not sure what my next step is other than rely on the Holy Spirit completely in every moment.  Empty me of me so I can be filled with you Lord!  





Also a post from my friend Heidi's blog today really really spoke to me, especially the questions at the end.  If you have a minute I would say go take a read!  Heidi Bylsma (<--click there)

Monday, November 8, 2010

Throw off what so easily hinders us!

So this morning driving home from taking my boys to school I had this scripture so clearly come into my mind...it was paraphrased - throw off all that so easily hinders us and the sins that slow us down and run this race with endurance...........

So later in my quiet time I remembered it was in Hebrews (or the Lord reminded me) and I found it in Hebrews 12:1-4 a great great scripture!  Treasure!  It saved me a few times today although I gave in to eating way way more times today than I care to admit. 

 1 Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a huge crowd of witnesses to the life of faith, let us strip off every weight that slows us down, especially the sin that so easily trips us up. And let us run with endurance the race God has set before us. 2 We do this by keeping our eyes on Jesus, the champion who initiates and perfects our faith.[a] Because of the joy[b] awaiting him, he endured the cross, disregarding its shame. Now he is seated in the place of honor beside God’s throne. 3 Think of all the hostility he endured from sinful people;[c] then you won’t become weary and give up. 4 After all, you have not yet given your lives in your struggle against sin.

This just encouraged me today.  I am struggling with looking for a formula, for the "right" way to eat or do this or that...when really He has simply laid it before me and say do it and I will give you the strength and all that you need to do it.  Can I trust Him?  Can I rely on Him again as I know He has helped me through this once before. 

I need to release at least 40 pounds of excess weight.  This is something that is hindering me from running this race the Lord has put before me.  To answer the question-HOW do I do this...it answers me so clearly above "we do this by keeping our eyes on Jesus, the champion who initiates and perfects our faith."


So I can make it as difficult as I want to, and sit around waiting for some other answer, but really He has put it straight to me.  I remember an acronym I learned from a Proverbs 31 Ministries devotional a year or two ago and it was DO IT!

Deliberate Obedience Intentional Trust (click here and read)

I want to trust Him now.  No more doubting, no more questioning, no more trying to get around it, I just have to do it.  I want to do what He has asked me to do even though I want to find some other solution that just makes perfect sense and tons of people have had results doing.  Lord carry me!  In Jesus Name, Amen

Where are you at in your journey with the Lord?  Do you have things that are hindering you that you need to throw off?  Bring it to Him and ask Him what that would be and how to do it.  I know quite clearly He will answer because He answered me.

(Today is day 6!)

Sunday, November 7, 2010

If it comes to mind...pray for me

Day 5.  Today was rough.  In the sense that I ate all day.  I need prayer to overcome this eating "idol" or "addiction" that I have going on.  So please pray for me if it comes to your heart or mind.


I feel the Lord telling me what I need to do but I have dragged my feet for a year or so.  I will share the scriptures that He made so clear to me over this journey (in my eating) and what He has shown my heart to do in order to create a healthy balanced body and health.  In summary, what He laid on my heart is to eat for physical hunger and to eat foods that will make my body strong and that are beneficial to me.  Is that really too hard to do?


Another scripture that always is in my mind is 1 Corinthians 10:31 that says:
So whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God.


So I took from that...that what He is telling me to do in regards to eating will bring Him glory...and that is my desire.


Today in church, one thing that the sermon really spoke to me about was this...when God speaks to You either through His Word or some other means...we have 2 choices.  One is to respond and do what He has asked...or taught us.  Two is to harden our hearts.  (The sermon was from Hebrews 3)  He said there is no limbo...there is no in between.  Its one or the other.  So for the past year of knowing these things the Lord asked me to do, and knowing I have not really responded wholeheartedly, means that each time I chose to not do what He asked I was hardening my heart.  So that is why now it seems so much harder, because my heart was hardened so many times.  At least this is what I am feeling, I am no theological expert but just what my heart is telling me through what I am learning.






So now I will share the scriptures and call it a night.


Proverbs 30:8 Keep falsehood and lies far from me; give me neither poverty nor riches, but give me only my daily bread. (NIV)


This I felt was something that extended from my learning when I was studying through Thin Within.  The words give me my daily bread, another translation reads, "give me just enough to be satisfied."  I was learning how to eat when I was truly hungry and stopping when I am satisfied.  I would run to God when I had other pains or hurts or hungers and He always filled me up.  


The other scripture was:
Isaiah 55:2 Why spend your money on food that does not give you strength? Why pay for food that does you no good? Listen to me, and you will eat what is good. You will enjoy the finest food. (NLT)


This was quite a while after the first one was revealed to me, months and months...and so I felt this was when He really spoke to me that I needed to start trying to eat beneficial foods.  Instead of yielding to His directions, I dragged my feet and got "diet" mentality and just started slowly straying and hardening my heart to all of it.  I tried to stay with the things I had been taught but just was not able to do it anymore as hard as I tried.  (get that...as hard as "I" tried?!)


So here I am saying I am ready.  I am ready to yield to His direction, with His help because I absolutely cannot do it myself, I will get legalistic and try to do everything perfect and it will be a BIG, HUGE, MESS! (as I have already seen happening)  I am ready to take the steps of faith in this direction.  Pray for me. 


**I just want to note also that I believe the Lord has a personal plan for each individual and if we seek Him diligently in it and cry out to Him He will reveal it to us and help us through it.  He is awesome and amazing and all knowing and is just waiting for us to ask Him for help.  







Saturday, November 6, 2010

New day~Day 4

Today is a new day.  I woke up this morning feeling a bit awkward and like I am trying to control things.  I got this feeling of being afraid of not being able to eat, and recall now that Jesus says to NOT worry about what you will eat or drink.  But I wasn't thinking that in the moment and I hurried up and ate something. I then proceeded to go grocery shopping later in the afternoon and bought the things I just knew in my heart I was going to eat a LOT of when I got home.  I spun out of control today.  So I am not going to condemn, I am getting up, going to eat a healthy dinner, and enjoy my evening.

I hear, "Kim obey and do what you already know, stop looking for something more.  Rest and be still.  Listen to my still small voice."

I have been reading a blog the past few days about freedom.  That is what I want.  I do not want a weight loss plan, I do not want to be skinny, I do not want to lose weight thinking it is what is going to cause my happiness, I want freedom, freedom to walk in Love the way I am made to walk because HE lives in me and HE is Love.  

That is this journey...am I making any sense?  I ask myself...I want to be free.  I suppose as I continue walking this journey I will see more and more what freedom looks like.  Just jabbering my heart now and talking to myself.

So my question to myself is............WHAT AM I WAITING FOR?

The freedom is already mine to walk in if I just take some steps!


Lord help me to step out and walk in the freedom that is mine...that you died for me to have.  Help me to fall in love with you more every day.  In Jesus Name, Amen

What have you done to start walking in freedom?  Would you share with me if you read this? :)


Friday, November 5, 2010

Day 3 of my adventure

I am on day 3 of my 40 day adventure with the Lord.  I asked Him several months ago if He would be my personal trainer and to help me return my body to its healthiest and most balanced state and to give me eating habits to support that for life.  He is doing this one thing at a time.  I want to share here and just join in with others I have read about sharing their true, authentic, real me stories of who they are and what God is doing through them, especially in the area of eating.  All to the glory of God because I do not want any of my successes to be attributed to me in any way.

So I use a lot of computer time on facebook and have started realizing how much I just want to talk to people on there, but it is hard to really carry on conversations and I felt a burden to really just share my heart and jabber about what God is doing in my life.  He put it on my heart to just start a blog.  So thats what I did. 

I am going to attempt to be myself, not hide thing, but be real, in hopes that something I say the Lord may use to glorify Himself and minister to others.

I have been going through the Bible study on http://www.eatingsdisorders.com/  It has been wonderful.  I am starting week 3, but am going through it very slowly as I want to absorb it all and not rush through it.  Also because I have a Bible study that is my main study I am doing with the womens ministry at church.  It has helped me to see that I have to surrender, to say good-bye to the love of food as I can't serve two masters.

"No one can serve two masters. Either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and Money. Matthew 6:24 *I know it says money but I think it could relate to more than just money, but anything we try to put before the Lord in our hearts.

So today I felt after reading a lot of blogs on intermittent fasting that I would try that during my 40 day journey with the Lord, wanting to break strongholds and draw closer to Him and LISTEN to Him and His will for my heart and life.  It consists of fasting 19 hours and then eating until you are full during a 5-hour time frame through the day.  I did it today only with the Lord's help.  I am still not sure if this is what He wants me to do or if I jumped into it too quickly.  I also feel eventually I will be where I eat only to feed my body and nourish it when I am physically hungry, but still enjoy what I eat when I do, and not to eat for other reasons.  I remember 1 Corinthians 10:31 and how it says:  Whether you eat, drink or whatever you do, do all for the glory of God.  That is what I want to do in my eating but cannot see clearly at this moment what that looks like.  Lord give me clarity!  Clear out the cobwebs and weeds in my heart and replace them all with You!  In Jesus Name, Amen