Working at Home and My Passion

I am feeling so drawn to writing and blogging but have all of these questions.  I pray I get the right answers or understand them as God wants me to.

I want my families support and feel I won't know how to explain these feelings to them.

I am so craving pouring into my family.  Not working full time outside the home.  Is that bad to share?  It is my honest thoughts though I know right now the last year and a half I am in a full time outside the home working position.  It is where God has me in the moment, but I can't help but feel that I know I can and should be working out of my home. Maybe it's not writing, but it is something I believe.

I am craving being home with my family.  Getting them up and enjoying mornings with them before school.  Spending a day in cozy clothes, with my computer, and my keyboard and typing away.  Sharing my heart.  Going where God leads me in the writing and working at home scene. 

Pray for me if you read this, that God will be all over it and guide the way.  And that I will take the steps as He leads and have the courage to, because honestly I feel like perhaps I have missed steps He told me to take because I was afraid and not trusting or having enough faith.  Lord please help me see clearly your will and have the courage to step out when you say and I pray I will have the confirmation with my support of my family at home behind me.  I also pray Lord that I will not be lazy, and I will continue to get better and better at working for you in all I do every day, no matter where I am.  Help me to see when I become idle for the wrong reasons and to get refocused on what you want me focused on.  I pray that you will keep changing my heart.  You are the redeemer and I am so thankful.  I can't change myself, I have tried and keep trying.  Help me fall into you and let you lead it all.  That is the cry of my heart.  Thank you for listening.  In Jesus Name, Amen

I need Jesus.  I need clarity.  I am asking for it. 

James 4:2-3 says, "You desire but you do not have, so you kill.  You covet but you cannot get what you want, so you quarrel and fight.  You do not have because you do not ask God.  When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures."

Let my prayer be asking you God.  Let it not be my own pleasure, but yours.  Let my will be yours.  Let my desires line up with yours.  That is my prayer.  In Jesus Name, Amen

More later...
 

Menu Plan Monday-Limited Cooking!

 

 

Good day to you!! Joining Organizing Junkie in some delish Menu Plan Monday fun!

 

I love cooking.  But working full time the last year and a half I have gotten so weary in it.  That makes me sad.  I decided I was going to try and cook 3-4 meals on Sunday afternoon/evening so that the family could have meals to heat up throughout the week and two things would happen.

 

1-They don't have to wait for me to get home at 6pm to eat.  They can just heat up dinner when they get hungry.

 

and...

 

2-I don't have to make dinner when I get home at 6pm.  I can heat up something if I am hungry.  And if I am not, I can just relax and enjoy family time and our fun evenings.

 

So this is what I did for this week...

 

• Apple Bourbon pork tenderloin-Hormel brand (I get these at Wal-Mart-they are gluten free and already seasoned)
• Sweet Italian sausage sauteed with onions-then eat over rice.  We have a rice cooker that always has Jasmine rice in it.
• Taco meat.  Cook this up and then they can heat the meat up and get out shredded cheese and lettuce and use the soft shell burrito shells I get to make their own soft tacos.
• Frozen pizza-this is an easy fix and some of the kids like this for dinner.  If not, they can have cereal or they can make a sandwich or a bowl of rice and soy sauce.
• Breakfast for dinner.  Usually can fix up some eggs, waffles, cereal and fruit and this is a quick dinner.  Though for this I do have to fix up something.
• Then there is the fend for yourselves night where we just eat what we want when we want it and nobody really cooks a meal.
  

Budgeting

What I've learned about budgeting.

• Zero-based budget
• Do what works best for you-not how you see others doing it
• Financial coach
• No such thing as perfect budget-new budget end of month every month for the following month, spend next months money before the month begins
• Budget meeting with spouse once a week or once a month-if possible, if not, press on and do your best.
• Goals. Have them.  Big or small.  Dream.
• Never stop learning.
• Be a student of budgeting.  Forever. 

What are some tips that you have learned?  I am SUCH a learner and love learning more and more so I can't get enough tips :)

More later...

To Blog or Not to Blog?

That is the question.  Does anyone know what it is like to go back and forth with whether or not you are supposed to have a blog or not?  I want to blog.  I love it.  I enjoy writing.  I feel perhaps maybe it is because some of my priorities may be out of line?  I'm not sure.  I also think I may believe some lies about writing and blogging in regards to me my heart and my life.

So that is why I haven't written in a while and I even made my blog personal so it wasn't open to the public.  So as I stumble forwards in this writing blogging journey, I still pray God's will and pray I can be authentic and know what He wants me to do. :)

More later...

Walking it Out

So I haven't written in a month or more.  Wow.  On the intuitive eating.  See I got a health coach.  Someone to help me in renewing my mind and walking out this intuitive eating.  See I am still struggling.  I don't like it.  At all.  I want to come on here and say I GOT IT!  I figured it all out.  It isn't happening though and I am frustrated. 

I may have a new sweet accountability partner.  I want to turn away though and think I can do this on my own.  But I am starting to see a pattern.  Every time God puts someone in my life or path to help me in this area of my life, I turn my back eventually.  Resisting strongly.

This hurts.  It is hard to admit really.  Because I would like to think that by now after so many years of this struggle I could help people or I could be free--comfortable in my body.

I want to post a new picture of myself.  I probably lost a few pounds, but I am not consistent and I need more work in this area.  I want to press on.  I want to be joyful instead of grouchy, resisting and stuck.  I want to accept the help where God gives it to me.  Reaching out my hand and saying lift me up Lord and help me walk this out....daily.

Thankful for Him and His grace and mercy for me--this control freak who wants to figure it all out and can't and really, who is NOT supposed to be trying to figure it all out.  But who is to be simply listening and obeying the God who loves me so much and wants to care for me. 

Am I the Same Me at Home?

I read a great blog article yesterday.  It was about reasons to quit blogging.  She spoke about what it would take for her to quit blogging.  I read this blog post here at a sweet blog I found today.  One of the reasons she gave was if she seemed like a separate person on her blog than she was in her real life at home-she would quit.  This was convicting, but refreshing all at the same time for me.

If it was refreshing it is because I don’t have to be someone else at my blog.  I can jabber on and be myself.  It was convicting because if I ever catch myself writing here on my blog and picture what my husband or children may think if they read it…and ask myself if they would believe I was being honest and myself….that is the true test for me.  They say that you are the real you behind closed doors at your home.  So if I am the same person here at my blog and at my work and at church and with my friends and at home, I am on the right track.

The problem is…I don’t always feel this way.  Sometimes I feel like what I talk about on my blog are things that my fam doesn’t want to hear about.  But sometimes perhaps it is me hiding from some attitudes and heart issues that I should address, but would rather talk other stuff.

Those are my thoughts.  Thinking on this.

3 Year Bible Reading Plan

In hopes to find something I could be consistent in when reading my Bible and learning all about the Word of God, I was struggling.  I was getting overwhelmed and feeling scattered.  I would start a reading plan and go a week or two, almost like the old dieting days, and then I would stop when I got behind.  I would start a Bible study and usually finish it, but then felt like I didn't know what to read next.  I would read some of the Bible, but didn't feel as connected or like I was learning well.  I wanted to try something new and different so I prayed and started looking for some ideas.  I remember a blogger friend I know said how she would read one chapter a day and it was not too much or too little.  It was just the right amount of reading.  So I started looking for a reading plan or something that I could do that would help me get through the whole Bible, but reading about one chapter per day.

I found this website when reading and downloaded the app from that site here. 



I started this in May, so going on 5 months of this reading plan.  I am really liking it.  It isn't beginning to end, it jumps around some and on Sundays it is always a Psalm.  So far this is working and I am really enjoying it.  

What do you think?  Check it out and see if this is something that may help you be consistent.  It may take 3 years to get through the whole Bible, but I will feel like I really absorbed it.  I have read the Bible in 90 days before, but there was not a lot of time for reflection.  This...I can do and I like lots!

More later...