Reading chapter 5 of Reshaping it All I found a few things that spoke to my heart. A Plan. The Lord has given me His plan for me and what I feel is simple but needed for my body, His Tempe. I have ignored it the past year. I must say I am ashamed of that. I think that is what kept me running for so long. But run no more. I will be still. For me the two things the Lord has shown me are to eat until I am satisfied, having just enough. Candace Cameron Bure says this in her book, she says to eat not until you are "full" but until you are "satisfied." I think this was advise given to her by a trainer years ago. But it is what the Lord has told me to do clearly through His Word and confirmation. What a difference between full and satisfied. And the second thing is to eat the foods that will make my body strong, things that are beneficial. Isaiah 55:2 says:
2 Why spend money on what is not bread, and your labor on what does not satisfy? Listen, listen to me, and eat what is good, and you will delight in the richest of fare. I struggled with this the most because I felt that I had learned all foods are ok in moderation and got used to that, released weight and then bam, I heard you need to eat things to make your body strong and I went into a lot of chaos and questioning, etc. But I will be getting up now and pressing on, no more questioning and just living by what knowledge I have and what He leads me in.
I must make a goal, and continue moving baby steps moment by moment, breaking the big goal into smaller goals so that I can reach them. I would say I need to lose 50 pounds. That would be the big goal, and she said to make it a year goal or that was a suggestion, and to say lose 52 pounds in a year, that is a pound a week. So I shall make a list of things I can do and will do weekly in order to obtain a pound loss a week. I think the bigger goal though is that I have a pair of shorts that I bought after releasing all my weight to a natural weight after my third child in 2009, size 6, and I got rid of all my clothes from then but I saved these shorts. My goal is to wear them comfortably, they were a gift from my husband!
Most importantly I must rely. I cannot do this on my own, any of it. I cannot be who I should be or want to be without the Lord as my rock and my guide. He is my ultimate comfort, my perfect provision, the lover of my soul, my refuge. He is my counsler, wonderful counselor. He must lead me through this. Matt 6:33 says Seek first His Kingdom of God and His righteousness and all these things will be added unto you. The amplified version says it this way: But seek ([a]aim at and strive after) first of all His kingdom and His righteousness ([b]His way of doing and being right), and then all these things [c]taken together will be given you besides.
As I seek Him first each moment in this journey I know that all else will be added unto me, given to me.
Psalm 23:1 The Lord is my shephard, I shall not want.
The other scripture that comes to mind is Without Christ I can do nothing. And of course, I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.
Satisfiaction. I must find my satisfaction in things other than food, or anything else I will never be where I should be. I will stay miserable, feeling lack, feeling empty. Still wanting. Psalm 34:8 says: Taste and see that the LORD is good. Oh, the joys of those who take refuge in him!
So there we are, a mess I am, running I was, but now stillness, reliance and moment by moment I will be taking it. Not sure what will come, knowing it won't be easy, but its what I am supposed to be doing as I can see in my heart.
I also continue with the rest of 31 Days to Clean and also joined in with Inspired to Action with Kat in the Maximize your Mornings, with a group of ladies they assigned me to to just be accountable for each morning spending time with Jesus before the day starts and before kids arise and chaos starts, and it goes for 3 months. I have been needing this the past year also, struggled with the "snooze" button far too long. My task right now is finding out how much sleep my body needs and adjusting my sleep accourdingly.
More later...in the meantime keep resting in Him!
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